Holly-Dolly Birthday Bunch!

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This woman wants to manufacture small ceramic (or possibly plush) figures to give to people on their birthdays. There would be twelve designs, one for each month, but she can’t tell us about them because that would ruin the surprise.

She does offer us this one possible design (apparently in crayon?) for the January figurine (or plush).

I’m not sure why the little kid has an icon on his butt like he’s a My Little Pony, but apparently that kid will appear in all the figurines. (or plushes)

The Best Part :

But the best part of this project is the video. Check this out :
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The video is a strange business proposal and it’s written in a language that is not formal English, but it’s what you might think formal English was like if your only exposure to it was from the nerdy character on a sit-com.

There’s a lot of big words in this video, and I don’t think she knows what half of them mean.

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What?

The Video :

Go ahead and watch it yourself. It’s really awkward, you’ll feel embarrassed for the presenter before it’s over.

The Rewards :

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I get my name on a website and I get a signed certificate?!?

Sorry, an authentically signed certificate!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been burned by fake signed certificates from people selling figurines (or plushes) on the Internet!

Better than that, it’s going to be stamped by a “Sealed embosser”. Personally, I don’t know how she’s going to use her embosser while it’s still sealed in its box, but I’m sure she’ll figure it out.

You think she meant “Seal Embosser”? (ie, a device that embosses a seal?)

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  • Brad

    So this is great on two levels. One it really helps make your site and your observations funny. Two: She is ACTUALLY READING the statements from her Patent for this product. No doubt she contacted a Patent Company from the television. Lots of Patent experience under my belt and this is so classic. Thanks for sharing. Buyer be ware.

    • KickFailure

      Oh, is THAT why it’s in such weird language?

      I know that modern patents are written in very strange style of English.

  • Chris Johnson

    I think this is an ingenious idea that is apparently at the beginning stages of its promotional and marketing aspect. Advertising for a particular product goes through numerous updates and changes, provided an individual has the money and resources to properly market and protect a particular brand, product and/or idea. In my opinion, this idea fits comfortably into the category of the billion $ ‘Ty Beanie Baby’ industry. This inventor is looking to create an interactive product that could actually turn into a national phenomenon and she has obviously done her homework when it comes to patenting, marketing, etc. to protect ‘her baby’ (particularly based on the information she has provided about authenticating the product line once it is actually launched and distributed). I wish her the best of luck and I hope she finds the right company to actually see the product (idea) for the true potential it actually provides.

  • MadameMidlifeCrisis

    I should contact the makers of Sculpey (them thar manufacteringerers of that “ceramic like sculptoring compound” seriously, go look up Sculpey III – or even FIMO – compound clay, as I’ve been using them for a long, long, O so long time…) so they can sue her into last year! Cheez & crackers, listening to her stumble over her own speech had a dual effect of dumbing me down & making me want to stick a fork in my eye. This was so poorly thought out & presented & that drawing was HILARIOUS! If you don’t have drawing &/or speaking/writing talent; ask &/or pay someone to do so for you.

    • Lucinda Jezzebelle Blackletter

      Anyone who has ever been or is a hippie knows what Sculpey and FIMO are :)

      • MadameMidlifeCrisis

        Ah, my dear pal Lucy; you never let me down! I used to make mushrooms, dancing bears & skulls out of Sculpey &/or FIMO & made a crapload of cash at Grateful Dead shows, Lollapalooza (lottapoorlosers 1991 & 92), at various other shows but made the biggest haul at an Allman Bros. concert at Waterloo Village (same place where I saw the original Lollapaloozas). I was gigglesnorting listening to this chick read, albeit poorly, almost word for word as to what Sculpey has on it’s packaging. Shame; she had none! (~):)

        • Lucinda Jezzebelle Blackletter

          Thank you so much my darling for the absolutely fabulous flashback to my youth! It has been decades since I thought about Sculpey or FIMO. Even though I was a little Goth girl, my friends were all hippies. I clearly remember walking into my best friends house and she couldnt wait to show me how she had wrapped all of the handles of their silverware in Sculpey. She made all kinds of jewelry with it, ashtrays, decorated pipes, the works.
          I attended the first 5 Lollapaloozas, H.O.R.D.E. Ive seen Blues Traveler in concert more than most of their die hard fans. I love music, so regardless of whether the Lolla bands were more my style, I could appreciate good music and I loved my friends. Ahhhhh the memories!!!