Be Prepared.



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Stephen Lauzon needs just over 4.9 million dollars (Canadian) to build an underground arcology-style bomb shelter. Capable of completely supporting a minimum of 500 people for three years.

Why? He doesn’t say. We can only assume that he knows something that we don’t.

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Notice that the entrance to the hot tub is flanked by statues of angels. This is important.

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Huh. I’m not sure Stephen Lauzon understands how trees work. Where are the roots of that tree?

The INDURATUS Project - Stage 2 has been established to move from proven design and engineering of system components, to complete the fabrication of a state-of-the-art, technologically advanced, Underground Shelter System designed to effectively mitigate (to military specifications) ALL modern day potential threats; CBRN (Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear), EMP (Electro-Magnetic Pulse - Solar Flare) and Seismic (to an engineering equivalency of +10 on the Richter Scale).

OK, I don’t know what terrible thing Stephen Lauzon is planning for, but I’m convinced! I played Fallout. I know that to survive we must move to underground vaults.

How do I get in on this?!?

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A cap?!? I pay a thousand dollars so you can build a vault to save yourself from the upcoming horrors of nuclear devastation destined to destroy the surface world with such completeness that our great cities will be razed and the living will envy the dead, and all I get out of it is a fucking cap?!?

  • KickFailure

    Every time I proof-read this, I had to look up the spelling of “arcology”. That word REALLY looks like it should have a ‘k’ in it.

    • Chris Wiesner

      Rather than a “c”? Wouldn’t “arkology” be like the study of Noah or some shit?

      • KickFailure

        Yeah, but that kinda makes sense, right?

        I mean, a self-sustaining habitat would be like a new Noah’s ark.

  • fruvous

    The creator should just buy the Diefenbunker. It’s cheaper, already built and just down the road from Ottawa.

    • KickFailure

      I wonder if it already has statues of angels flanking a hot-tub.

      It might, it was built for government big-wigs, after all!

  • CheeseByProxy

    The cap is a steal. You have to pay over 6 grand to get a color laminated picture.

  • Jamoche

    The part you didn’t highlight: “Seismic (to an engineering equivalency of +10 on the Richter Scale).” apparently is the sort of continent-destroying event that only happens in bad movies.

    • KickFailure

      Oh, I didn’t notice that. +10 would be absolutely devastating.

      No way you’re building a shelter to withstand that unless it’s isolated from the ground with giant springs, like NORAD missile command.