Don’t throw away your XBox yet.

realPLAY_01

Kyle Walker starts this project by posing an intriguing question. If you were trapped in a box that was impossible to escape from, and time didn’t exist, how long would it take you to get out of the box? Oh wait, did I say intriguing? I meant “moronic and pretentious”.

Three paragraphs in, he decides to talk about the actual project.

A: Real Play is a real world interaction experience with a twist of innovation and technology advances. It is a gaming system that has no competition on the market there is no plausible way for any to duplicate or copy it. its truly a one of a kind idea the push the boundary's of science and human intelligence. Simple enough for a 5 year old to play but a real challenge for the smartest person to build.

So it’s a game console? One so revolutionary that it will change the way we view the world?

 Simple enough for a 5 year old to play but a real challenge for the smartest person to build.
Or possibly it’s just a Rubik’s Cube. Who knows?

Luckily, he provides a link to a demo.

Don’t bother clicking the link. I took one for the team and clicked it for you.
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It’s movie clips with really easy trivia questions super-imposed over them.
This is his revolutionary new “game system” that is going to change the way we perceive reality itself.

It’s already changed the way I perceive time; I seem to remember this impossible-to-duplicate technology showing up as a bonus feature on a Muppets DVD I owned ten years ago, which is in the past. But somehow, I now understand that Kyle Walker just now invented this technology.

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No. We already know what risk is. You don’t need to define it for us! Certainly not in a long, rambling, underpunctuated pile of childish text. (Speaking of children, why is it bad if a new born is loved by someone?) You’re supposed to tell us the risks and challenges of your project.

I really would have thought this was obvious, but his mind has clearly been expanded by his revolutionary “Game system” that he can’t understand basic human expectations.

  • Hey

    i just want to hand you this kickfail on a silver platter (he has a video too):

    https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1710794115/civilians-vs-traitors

  • Ognimod

    The “never give up, obstacles are there for you to jump, etc.” part sounds straight out of the soundtrack for an 80s Rocky movie.

    • KickFailure

      You’re the best around!
      Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down!

      • Ognimod

        *chuckle* Exactly! It’s begging to have music to go with it.

  • Jamoche

    I’ve noticed a lot of people with bad projects seem to have trouble grasping what the “Risks” section is for. A popular one is “The only risk is if I don’t get funded.”

    • KickFailure

      I wonder if they honestly can’t fathom the idea of something going wrong with their project, or if they have some wrong-headed idea that the “risks and challenges” section is a TRAP and they’re being clever by not showing any sign of weakness.