We’re on God’s time Now!

CephasMeter_01

Here’s a weird one. This man has invented a new way of telling time. Apparently if you use this new clock he’s invented, you’ll be understanding time as God understands it. You know, up in heaven or His own planet, or whatever.

 Below is a part of my patent application publication.  This explains the device and how it is to be used.  I need to make a interactive app and prototype smart watch so that all believers in the world can unite, form specific request groups and concentrate on certain prayer requests while metering the actual time that is passing in the different dimensions. If nothing else this will focus, encourage and increase faith for the participants.

He goes on in this vein for pages and pages which I won’t quote here, but he never really explains why I’d want this, besides some vague references to miracles or something.

This was the best use of this new timekeeping that I could think of.

BOSS : Johnson! You’re half an hour late for the board meeting!

JOHNSON : Yes sir, but that’s only 5 milliseconds to God!

Six Thousand Years?

Now, I had a suspicion what the point of this was, so I worked out the math and low and behold, a single day for God works out to just shy of a thousand years for us. That makes the six “days” of Genesis add up to “Less than six-thousand years”. And I thought “Oh, he’s a Young Earth Creationist” trying to somehow make the math work out. But then I remembered that even the most extreme fundamentalist young-earthers believe that there’s thousands of years of human history after the events of Genesis. So maybe the the six thousand years is just a coincidence?

I tried working it the other way, too. Maybe the universe is 6000 years old in God time. What does that work out to in human time? About two billion years. Less than half the age of the Earth (never mind the universe.)

Point is, I can’t make heads or tails of this insanity. But there’s a lot of it! This Kickstarter weighs in at 1800 words of crazy.

CephasMeter_03

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  • TheNate

    I want to make fun of this guy, but then I saw his old Kirisutos Pachyderm page and that no one signed his guestbook yet and that made me sad. http://kirisutospachyderm.com/Guestbook.php

    On the other hand, he has a book for sale, which puts him leagues above that “Tree Rock Creations” idiot.

  • mh

    I guess I finally have to ask this: Why do you run spell checking only on the Kickstarter texts?

    • KickFailure

      Oh, that’s easy! Because I’m a hypocrite!

      Seriously, though. Spelling corrections are welcome. Rest assured that if I was writing a crowdfunding pitch and expected people to actually send me money, I’d get someone to proof-read it before I posted it.

  • Jamoche

    He needs to team up with the Time Cube guy.

  • Ognimod

    We have a saying down here, “God’s time is perfect”, which means “someday good things will happen, just sit around doing nothing but waiting and hoping until they do”. Maybe this would be good for the kind of people who do that. “Been waiting over 40 years to get a home/steady income/other necessity, but hey, that’s only a week in God’s time, He’ll probably get around to do it later.”

  • Tim Hoskins

    I think I can explain. 2 Peter 3:8 says, “…with the Lord one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years is as one day.” It is, of course, a simile comparing God’s eternal perspective with the finite perspective of humanity. Mr. Vaughn, however, would not be the first to take it as a literal equation, though he probably is the first to patent the idea try to turn it into an app.

    • KickFailure

      Ah, that does explain it! Thank you! I guess I was insufficiently familiar with The Bible.

      Or, at least it explains where the math comes from. It still doesn’t explain what it’s good for.

  • neeneko

    Wait, am I reading correctly that this person is asking for 10 million USD, to create a smart watch app? Maybe he means in ‘god money’, which I guess would come to 10,000 USD? That still seems like a lot.

  • I’ll just be blunt here

    oh man. It’s “time cube” all over again…
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Cube