You expect me to pay twenty dollars
for digital copies of pin-up sketches of fantasy creatures? Have you not even heard
someone tried this stupid idea, they came here to KickFailure to lie about how many millions of dollars they were making with their stupid idea. I’m really hoping that happens again. I love crazy people.
Dark and Grity
The original Treasure Island is already a bit on the dark side, but check out the dialog in this “dark and gritty” reboot.
Black Dog : “You fucked up Billy, and the captain has a strict attitude regarding what happens with people who fucks up”
‘Captain’ Bill : “So just give me the fucking thing then!!!!”
Ah, what authentic 18th century dialog. Clearly, this was written “for adults”!
(Incidentally, the “fucking thing” that Bill is so impatient to be given is The Black Spot. You know, the death mark that terrified him so completely that he keeled over from a heart attack.)
I’m glad to hear that this item has a patent! I was really worried! I can’t tell you how many Kickstarter projects I don’t back because I can’t tell whether or not they have a patent!
But what the heck is it?
Judging from the one and only photograph (no video) it looks like it’s a tissue box with two holes punched in it. … And then placed on a toilet paper dispenser? For some reason?
That’s … not a real problem! That is not a real problem that people have!
I mean, just to spell it out for the people who have never changed a roll of toilet paper, the roll can’t “fall off” the dispenser! There’s a rod going through it. This is not some sort of conjurer’s linking rings trick being performed in your bathroom by lavatory sorcerers!
Perhaps I’m being too harsh. Maybe her toilet-paper holder is broken, but she doesn’t realize. Maybe her kids, unbeknownst to her, are unhitching the mechanism. Maybe, but who cares? This invention wouldn’t solve either of those problems.
Not only that, It’s expensive. I don’t mean that she’s only giving samples to people (ok, “person”) who pledge $100, or more. I mean that toilet paper costs $1.73 per thousand sheets, and facial tissue costs $16.64 per thousand sheets. I realize that a facial tissue provides a little more, ahem, ‘coverage‘ than a sheet of toilet paper, but not nine and half times more!
Finally, if you choose to invest in this exciting new technology developed by punching two holes into a cardboard box, I hope you’ve got a good plumbing system. Facial tissues aren’t designed to be flushable, and a surprising amount of household plumbing just can’t handle them.
No wonder there’s “liquid waste” on the floor of her bathroom.
Since the advent of sliced bread and electric toasters, I’d have to say that toast is the single easiest-to-make hot food item.
Surely though, soup is in the top three.
However, for some people, like Sean from Fairfax, it still presents some difficulties.
He’s given us only three written sentences describing his wonderful invention, but I think they tell the story pretty well.
“Will truly feel a reward”? Really? Who writes like that? This guy must work in fortune cookie factory.
For more on how this device works, let’s turn to this incredibly awkward pitch video.
Yikes, painful. But here’s something that could have been even more painful.
This is the only reward level offered by this project. Do they really mean to imply that they would send me a pot-blender for only $5 including shipping? I don’t think that’s what they thought they were saying, but you could certainly read it that way.
If they had succeed, they would have had over ten-thousand people who thought they were owed a free pot-stirrer. There’s no possible way they could have manufactured and shipped all those without going massively in debt.
They really dodged a bullet by failing so badly.