Junk Jeans

Hot Child Junk Jeans - The First Anatomically Designed Jeans With A Man's Junk In Mind.

For guys like me, the hardest part of putting on a pair of pants, obviously, is figuring out where to put my enormous … “junk”. Luckily, Octavio Marc David Silva, a man with too many names, has solved the problem for us.

He has created jeans with a gigantic bulge up-front for our manhood.


Finally, I have room for a couple of rolled up socks. No! I mean my giant penis! Definitely that. Not the rolled up socks.

What do they call this exciting new product?

The Hot Child Junk, Jeans

Woa. Uhm… You, uh, may want to reconsider that name. It’s bad enough to be obsessed with “junk”, but “child junk”?
(Think that comma was just a typo? Nope, they keep doing that.)

Other Products for 2014

They’ve also given us sneak peaks of a couple of products they’re still working on. These could be just what you need if you’re a medieval cultist or an extra on Deep Space Nine:
junk_06 junk_07


Glue some dice on your car!

Geek Chic d20 Tire Pressure Caps

Geek Chic “Pressure Caps”. (I assume they mean “Stem caps”). Let’s take a look.


Ok, Basically, this is $2 worth of stem caps crazy-glued to $2 worth of twenty-sided dice.

To make this yourself it would literally cost you $4, and a few drops of glue.

Pedge $20 or more for a set of Pressure caps. (Stem caps)

Twenty Dollars!

Does anyone seriously expect these things to last for more than a week of real road conditions? Professionally made novelty dice stem caps are made by drilling into the dice, and building the covers into the dice!

Just gluing a dice on there is like something a 9 year old would do on his bicycle!

Update :

Looks like they smartened up and started offering ones made the not-stupid way.
New Recessed Dice Style


Long Long Ago, in the Future.

This delightful project is a sci-fi movie about how evil forces led by “Lord Savior” are conspiring to suppress the scientific truth about Darwinism. I’m sure it’s well written and not preachy at all.

What a fun gimmick! Instead of filming your own movie, just dub over someone else’s movie!

“Live peaceful”? I wonder why she said that so awkwardly.

Oh. I’m sure that won’t result in any weird or unnatural dialog.

I’m sure Lucasfilm, now owned by Disney, will have absolutely no problem with this guy dubbing over their movie with horrible dialog and then selling DVDs.


Watch your tail.

“Tailly”, the tail that wags when you get excited

This project needs £60,000 (About $95k) to build electronic tails for people to wear.

Sure, we’ve all wished that we had a long fluffy tail to let people around us know if we were excited or not, but evolution didn’t give us one! Now technology has solved that problem!

Fantastic! …but, where could I wear such a thing?

Yes, of course. Exactly what I need on a date is something that tells the world if my heart rate goes up.

Incidentally, it’s really only going to “Add a level of communication” if you and your date spend the evening staring at each others’ butts.

Who invented this crazy thing anyway?

Of course. Here he is wearing his other invention : Necomimi, the cat ears that move according to your brainwaves.