Ok, I get it. Really.
In a big city a bike is really handy, but if you leave it outside somebody will steal your tires.
But this is a clown bike. Just looking at it I start to hear calliope music!
Ok, It’s a bike for clown boy scouts.
In the olden days when you wanted to “turn music rhythms into a physical experience” you had to get up off the couch and start dancing.
No more! Now you can put on this handy bib (with patented zipper!) and it will let you “feel the catchy beats that millions of people have only heard!”. Which means, of course, that it’s going to “tap” on your shoulders.
He looks like he’s having fun.
The device weights in at a hefty five pounds, and contains no batteries, so it must be plugged into an 110v electrical outlet while in use.
(In the interest of fairness, I should acknowledge up front that the creator of this project claims to be only 13 years old. However, £1,500 (about $2,400) is a grown-up amount of money, so this project has to stand trial as an adult. We have no compassion here at Kickfailure.com.)
First of all, “Sticky Trading Cards” is a terrible name for a card game.
Second of all, I want to point out that the project description has over six-hundred words, but not one punctuation mark! It actually hurt my brain to read, but I did it so you guys don’t have to.
Absolutely! I love trading cards. Trading cards are like little treasures in a foil packet! There’s real joy in unwrapping a photograph of your favorite sports hero, or the beautiful artwork of a fantasy game. I’ll sometimes buy cards for games I don’t even play, just because I like the wonderful art.
So what have you got for us?
Not just stick figures, but the same stick figures repeated multiple times! (Color changes don’t count!)
Kind of missing the some of the magic of a trading card games, if the cards look like you spent no more than five minutes on them.
£11 (about $18) for 20 cards? A least five of which are duplicates?
Even Wizards of the Coast can’t get away with a deal like that!
This woman needed $750 to self-publish a children’s book that she has written and illustrated.
I guess the hero of the story is a misshapen circle? And its misshapen parent?
William Barnes, along with a team of men with epic mountain-man beards, needs a third of a million dollars to build a robot-drone Zeppelin to Find Bigfoot!
Previous attempts at finding Big Foot have failed, because they’ve searched on the ground, where Big Foot is! You’ve got to outsmart the beast and go to the sky where he isn’t!
Also on the team is Dr. Jim Halfpenny.
(Are dinosaurs hard to track? The ones I’ve seen hadn’t moved in a very long time.)
He also runs this entertaining website that seems to have escaped from 1998.
You’ve got a book deal! Congratula- wait. You need six thousand dollars?
I think there’s been a misunderstanding here. Let me diagram this out for you.
Sorry, lady, but if a publisher is asking you for money they’re not really a publisher. At best they might be a vanity press, at worse they’ll just disappear with your money.
Anyway, let’s listen to her video :
I believe I am a best-selling author. I have wrote a ten-thousand page book about coming out of bondage of things that have a stronghold on us.
TEN-THOUSAND PAGES?!? Holy crap! I’ve got to diagram this out again.
This is a truly record-breaking book! Amazing. No wonder the “publisher” wants so much money, they’ll have to cut down a whole forest to print it!
Wait a minute.
Oh, Maybe she meant to say “Ten-thousand words“. That’s not a novel! That’s a term paper!
So what we have here is a woman that is being scammed by a vanity press, who needs money to print her book, which is either a record breaking 10,000 pages long, or about 35 pages long.
That’s more than a little sad, actually.
These people want $60/per to cut a slot into a whelk’s shell.
You know, so you can put your iPod in it and make it sound all echo-y.