Poop Calendar!

When I look down the street at all the people in this town I think “These idiots can barely drive their own cars.” I absolutely do not think “We should get these people to process their own sewage! That’s a great idea that certainly won’t contaminate our water supply!”

Sewage Treatment is one of those things I think should be left to professionals who know what the hell they’re doing, like brain surgery or teaching calculus.

But the people from the “Fertile Earth Foundation” disagree. They want people to think a lot more about their poop. And what’s the best way to sell something?

That’s right! Combine it with sex! If you want to advertise Coca-Cola, show sexy ladies drinking Coca-Cola. If you want to advertise poop …

Lovely.

Uhm, actually, animals that live in densely populated communities, like most humans do, spend an enormous amount of their time on sanitation. Otherwise beehives would be full of bee poop.

Really hoping that’s mud.

Buwwets

Buwwets

Here’s a book created by a six year old after the first time someone explained the gun control debate to him.

Haha! Just Kidding! This is Major Tom (From “Planet Nubia“) again!

Now, I’ll come right out and admit that like any good East-coast liberal, I’m in favor of strong gun control laws, but reading this Kickstarter posting made me want to stand on a street corner and hand out assault rifles to children!

I can already tell that this is going to be a serious book that doesn’t trivialize other people’s opinions.

Don’t worry, though! Major Tom has SOLVED the gun control debate.
Wow… yea… Sure, I don’t see any problems with that plan.


Don’t like Major Tom’s position on Gun Control? Then you should pay him $500 so you can put a 250 word rebuttal in his book.

That makes perfect sense.

Girls with Spotlights on Planet Nubia

THE GIRLS OF PLANET NUBIA

Major Tom needs $20,000 to shoot a short film. Basically, as far as I can tell, this is a film about a girl in a motercycle helmet pointing a spotlight at things, while the editor presses every single button on his video toaster.

Yea, I hear that movies about girls in motorcycle helmets do really well at Sundance.

In addition to the Kickstarter video, he’s also produced this teaser : (Click to download the .wmv file.)
Notice how you can still see the wrinkles in the green-screen. That’s some quality editing right there.

Subies : a “Roguelike” game for iOS.

SUBIES iOS/PC – “Attack The Depths”

I heartily recommend watching this video demo of a iPhone game. This may be the funniest video on all of Kickstarter.

“See, we relax sometimes because if shaking ship down hurts the fuel!”

Yes, of course it does.

Sadly, this is not a Kickstarter for a series of hilarious videos, they actually want us to buy this game!

Uh … yea … ok … wow.
This is like a carpenter telling you how excited he is about one day owning a hammer, because he doesn’t want to have to keep pounding the nails in with his forehead.

Wow, he totally filled in a government form and paid a $50 registration fee!

And to prove it, he showed us a photograph of his credit card!

Uh, dude, I can still make out the numbers.

FriendZone

Friendzone Tees

Sometimes, you’re friends with a girl for, like, a whole week, and she’s still not interested in sleeping with you!

I know! It’s like they don’t understand the only reason we’re friends with them is for sex!

Yea, that’ll do the trick.

Too bad his lady-friends aren’t interested in “Doing something”.

The Gamer Comedy that Rage-quits

Pwned! The Gamer Comedy that Gives
(AKA “Pwned! The Ultimate Geek Anthem Film”)

This man needs a mere $250,000 to film a Gamer Comedy. It’s a comedy film by gamers, for gamers!

It contains fresh new gags like this parody of the Star Wars opening scroll :

But this isn’t just a comedy, it also has an important message!

Oh boy. A parody of “gamer life” that also teaches us an important message about bullying.

When the internet didn’t immediately start throwing money at them for this obviously brilliant concept, they changed the name of their project from “The Ultimate Geek Anthem Film” to “The Gamer Comedy that Gives“, and explained that they would give 100% of their profits to charity, including …

When even this didn’t work, they did the only thing they could think of : RAGE-QUIT!

Don’t worry, they’ve relocated to IndieGoGo!
(By the way, that’s not a comb-over, his hair just does that.)

Futile Furry Fuel Fantasy

Furry Fuel!

Ok, apparently if you’re a furry you’re not content drinking a regular energy drink. (Not even a “Red Bull“?)


Ok, so essentially it’s just Soda pop, right?


The energy drink looks pretty normal besides the label (pictured above), but the project included this interesting “stretch goal”.




Let’s see how that turned out.

Suspended by Kickstarter? But Why?

For the answer to that question, let’s check out the list of Prohibited Kickstarter Projects :

Lone Bobblehead Theory

Lee Harvey Bobblehead

Celebrate the assassination of one of the USA’s most beloved presidents with a whimsical bobblehead!

It makes me happy for humanity, that even on an election year, people weren’t crazy enough to back this project.

All that said, they did do a good job of capturing him in bobble form.

It’s the perfect conversation starter at the next militia meeting.