Snap Sporks

snapSpork

Snap … Sporks?

Basically this idea will allow you to: A) Wear a snap-on bracelet legitimately(ish) B) Eat, Rinse, Repeat :)

Oh. Of course. Next time I’m at an event, and need to eat something with a fork or spoon, I’ll just take the flexible band off my wrist and stick it in my food!

Snap bracelets, popular in the early 90s, and coming back into fashion now, are metal springs that wrap around your wrist, but can also be straightened into a roughly straight shape. And then, here’s the magic part, you apply just a liiiitle bit of pressure to them, and they SNAP! back into a curved spring.

Perfect for something I’m jabbing into my salad.

Anyway, when the meal is over, I’ll just take that spork, dripping with spaghetti sauce or salad dressing or whatever, and wrap it around my wrist.

Embrace the Future of Parcels!

alphaBAND_01

Very high-tech blue-print we’ve got going on here.

My team and I are self-identified futurists with specific ideas about mail delivery from the USPS® 5, 10, and 20 years from now. We believe the accessibility of alphaBAND™ has the potential to transform how we send and receive mail.

Hang on folks, this one’s a tricky one.

How it Works!

Imagine you wanted to send an present to your friend.

Ok.
You could just mail it to them at the post office, but that’s old fashioned. We’ve got Web2.0 now!

So how should I send it?
You should use a 3d scanner to digitize it. Then your friend could get a 3d-print of the item.

Would that work?
Sure, if you only send things made of 100% plastic!

So I email my friends the 3d file?
Don’t be so old fashioned! Email was invented in the 1970s! You want something more hi-tech!

Oh. Then how do I send it?
Through the post office!

But, wasn’t that invented back in-
THROUGH! THE! POST! OFFICE!

…ok. So do I give the post office my friend’s address, or my friend’s email address?
Neither! You give the them your friend’s biometric signature.

Bio-whatsit signature?
Biometric Signature! It’s your friend’s permanent serial-number based on his DNA!

How would that help the postman find my friend?
Easy! Your friend would wear a bracelet that transmits his biometric serial number and his exact location directly to the government, 24 hours a day!
That way the postman will have no problem at all!

… I don’t think I like the future anymore.