Here’s a Kickstarter for a video game company named “The Creative Games”. Huh. Not the most creative name, but whatever.
What are they making? Nothing much. Only the most extensive and fully featured videogame in the history of mankind. That’s right.
Wow. This game is even bigger than Grand Theft Auto V! GTAV was involved a team of well over a thousand people and an estimated budget of £170 million! (about $265 million)
So what astronomical sum of money is this project going to cost?
HA-ha! $3,500cad (about $3150 US) You couldn’t even get a PS4 developers’ kit for that little, let alone hire people to use it! Crumby little phone games ripping off Candy Crush have budgets ten times that! Even if they get a hundred times their goal, this project is hilariously doomed to failure.
Who are the crazies behind this trainwreck?!?
Oh no. … Please, don’t tell me …
Ugh! It is. This is some clueless mother setting up her child for the most crushing, and embarrassingly public, disappointment of his life.
It’s made all the worse by the fact that there really are kids his age with realistic goals, doing phenomenally well on Kickstarter.
In fact, taken at face value this is horrible, so I choose to believe that this is a scam. I choose to believe that this is an intentional scam to prey on people who are charmed by a cute kid.
I have a certain respect for a well played con job, so that’s what I choose to believe this is, because the alternative is terrible.
Important Note: This post is a commentary on the project and the adults involved. Feel free to discuss this project in the comments, but if you post a comment criticizing or insulting the children involved, you will be banned.
There are a lot of children’s books on Kickstarter. I mean a lot, and most of them are frankly pretty dire. I could probably fill this entire blog with nothing but children’s books, but I don’t because that would be boring, and even more mean spirited than this site usually is.
However, when you compare yourself to Doctor Seuss I expect great things. Anyone with the gall to compare themselves to one of the great masters in the field had better be able to back it up. So with that in mind, let’s dig into “The Star of Soreals”
I’m going to ignore this guy’s description of the book. It has a few typos, but whatever.
Ugh! Make it stop. This is weapons-grade bad poetry right here.
It’s clearly trying, and failing to hit a poetic meter, but I can’t figure out which one. (Compare to Seuss’s favorite meter, the sing-songy anapestic tetrameter.)
And the rhymes! Are you kidding me with those rhymes?!? “Interact / Matterfact”? “wants / thoughts”? “wants / flaunt”?!? THOSE DON’T EVEN WORK!
Ok, ok, there’s more to being “a Doctor Suessian style” than the poetry, the good doctor was also known for his wonderful pen and ink illustrations. So what kind of art does this masterpiece have for us?
Oh, for crying out loud! I give up.