So-whats?

There are a lot of children’s books on Kickstarter. I mean a lot, and most of them are frankly pretty dire. I could probably fill this entire blog with nothing but children’s books, but I don’t because that would be boring, and even more mean spirited than this site usually is.

However, when you compare yourself to Doctor Seuss I expect great things. Anyone with the gall to compare themselves to one of the great masters in the field had better be able to back it up. So with that in mind, let’s dig into “The Star of Soreals

The Star of Soreals is a seussian story, a whimsical tale, and a fun allegory, about different folks and their transformative glory.

I’m going to ignore this guy’s description of the book. It has a few typos, but whatever.

Lived two types of folks who did not interact // They lived on their own side of the track matterfact. On Type of these folks was known as sowants // 'Cause they wanted whatever eachother would flaunt. No the sonots were so afraid of the Sowants // that instead they just focused on all their own thoughts.
Ugh! Make it stop. This is weapons-grade bad poetry right here.
It’s clearly trying, and failing to hit a poetic meter, but I can’t figure out which one. (Compare to Seuss’s favorite meter, the sing-songy anapestic tetrameter.)

And the rhymes! Are you kidding me with those rhymes?!? “Interact / Matterfact”? “wants / thoughts”? “wants / flaunt”?!? THOSE DON’T EVEN WORK!

Ok, ok, there’s more to being “a Doctor Suessian style” than the poetry, the good doctor was also known for his wonderful pen and ink illustrations. So what kind of art does this masterpiece have for us?

soreals_06 soreals_05

Oh, for crying out loud! I give up.

See Also:

horrifying_kids_books_teaser



CANdleholders.

CANdleholder “A creative way to add light to your life.”

If I may get philosophical for a moment, I’ve always thought of cans as not specifically candle-holders, but just “Holders”. You know, in general. I mean : They’re cans, so you can put stuff in them.


Ooo! Sounds classy already! Let’s see how they turned out.


Hmm… Well, I guess they have sort of a … “industrial” aesthetic going on?

How’d they do?

Oh. Ouch.