The Truth about Google?

My revolutionary 1st book will change the world,

Finally! For once in our lives, we can learn the truth! And not just one or two truths, the truth about everything! All in a single PDF we could have gotten for $15!

These secrets have been held closely by certain circles of well managed, compartmentalized groups since the last great cataclysm and this information will be guarded and protected just as powerfully.

… Yes, of course. The last great cataclysm. … We learned all about that in history class. All those … cataclysms.

Well, not all the cataclysms, just, you know, the great ones.

Thank god for all those groups that are compartmentalized in to separate … groups.

That’s all definitely a thing we all know about and that you didn’t just make up.

I am anticipating some controversy to arise from a few of the concepts I am presenting in this book, but I am more than confident that the information will become self evident in the end.
Really? There’s no shortage of crazy people telling us “The truth”, why would you possibly think that one more would cause any controversy? Or even be noticed by anybody at all?

But he’s also giving to charity!

Contrary to Kickstarter guidelines, he’s promised to donate any money over and above the $3000 goal to UNICEF. (You can’t use Kickstarter for charity drives. Because that’s not how a legit charity drive would be done.) Here’s what he had to say about that.
I am also asking that UNICEF and Kickstarter help promote this fundraiser and hope that the guys at Kickstarter will actually match me in my funds for donation! It is worth trying and both this book and this disaster relief can make a huge impact on changing the world for the better!b
That is not how Kickstarter works.

Search Links? Or Something?

TruthEverything_04
At the bottom of his Kickstarter page were these three icons. They link to search engine (DuckDuckGo, Google, and Bing) searches for the text of his own project. (example link)

Why?!?
What the heck does he think he’s accomplishing? Does he think this is how social media buttons work? Does he think it’s an SEO tactic? Does he think having those buttons there will somehow bring more people to his page?

Either he misunderstands how Google works, or I do. If you have any idea what these buttons are supposed to do, let me know in the comments, because I’m honestly puzzled.

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Creative scam, I hope.

CreativeGames_01

Here’s a Kickstarter for a video game company named “The Creative Games”. Huh. Not the most creative name, but whatever.

What are they making? Nothing much. Only the most extensive and fully featured videogame in the history of mankind. That’s right.

CreativeGames_02

Wow. This game is even bigger than Grand Theft Auto V! GTAV was involved a team of well over a thousand people and an estimated budget of £170 million! (about $265 million)

So what astronomical sum of money is this project going to cost?

CreativeGames_03

HA-ha! $3,500cad (about $3150 US) You couldn’t even get a PS4 developers’ kit for that little, let alone hire people to use it! Crumby little phone games ripping off Candy Crush have budgets ten times that! Even if they get a hundred times their goal, this project is hilariously doomed to failure.

Who are the crazies behind this trainwreck?!?

CreativeGames_04

Oh no. … Please, don’t tell me …

CreativeGames_05

Ugh! It is. This is some clueless mother setting up her child for the most crushing, and embarrassingly public, disappointment of his life.

It’s made all the worse by the fact that there really are kids his age with realistic goals, doing phenomenally well on Kickstarter.

In fact, taken at face value this is horrible, so I choose to believe that this is a scam. I choose to believe that this is an intentional scam to prey on people who are charmed by a cute kid.

I have a certain respect for a well played con job, so that’s what I choose to believe this is, because the alternative is terrible.


Important Note: This post is a commentary on the project and the adults involved. Feel free to discuss this project in the comments, but if you post a comment criticizing or insulting the children involved, you will be banned.

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Preparing for Eternity.

Eimmortality_01

Hey, I recognize that robot! That’s TOPIO 3.0. Ping-Pong playing robot, and standard stock-photo any time somebody wants to make a crazy point about robots.

Let’s see what crazy point it’s being used for this time!

Eimmortality_04

Yup. That’ll do it.

Dr. Bolonkin Alexander believes that human immortality is coming soon, and he wants to tell us what to do to get ready for it.

He’s written this book to tell us “What to do now for your immortality or a resurrection in the future.

What will we look like as immortals?

Eimmortality_05

Oh wow. Pretty cool. I’d totally spend eternity as The Man of Steel.

But with my luck, I’d get stuck with the Asimo.

(Still, I’m glad that the E-Mans won’t look like Prince Adam.)

What else does the book cover?

Besides preparing for immortality, what else does the book teach us?
Eimmortality_02
Heaven is nice, but not nice enough. We need to get God to resettle in the Internet Net.

Eimmortality_03
Oh come on, now you’re just cribbing from Asimov!

Conclusion.

Look folks, you don’t need this book. If human immortality really is on the way, all you need to do to get ready is to become filthy rich. If you’re in the top 1% of the top 1% then the nice people at the Immortality Clinic will take care of everything for you. If you’re in the bottom 99.99%, then you won’t be able to afford immortality, so don’t worry about it.

(Incidentally, please tell your friends about this blog. I need the advertising money for my immortality fund. Thanks!)


See Also

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Thought Phones! Or maybe not?

Let me take you backstage a moment and explain how I prepare these posts.

When I find a project that makes me giggle, I take a screenshot of it, and then I bookmark it. Later, when I prepare the post for this blog, I work from that screenshot, but I also check out the page again to see if I missed anything.

So imagine my surprise that this crazy project had completely changed!

Two Weeks Ago :

TARC - The first thought phone

Now :

Tarc - The first free energy thought magnifier

Apparently, project creator Paris Tosen was forced to change the name and purpose of his product when his beta testers complained that they couldn’t place thought-calls on their thought-phones.

That is a real thing that I am not making up.
Therefore, I am going to revise the Tarc into a device that magnifies, accentuates, and modulates thought energy, since this remains a consistent theme in the feedback from the testers.
I think he means “My device does absolutely nothing at all, so I need to revise its description to something that can’t be proved one way or the other.

This is not me telling them what to do.
But that’s your job! You’re the inventor!

Come on, we all know that a thought-phone or even a thought amplifier is complete nonsense!
tarc_04
Oh! I guess he put me in my place!

Let’s carry on, then.

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Neat!
Until two weeks ago it could send and receive messages of love from friends and family, but I guess the receiver circuits still need some work.
(It could also “Send and receive emergency messages to any person in the world“. Which strikes me as the sort of thing his lawyer probably told him to take off the list.)

Two Weeks Ago :

The TARC is designed with Stelan technology (ie interdimensional science), advanced ideas that have been adapted to suit human needs.

Now :

The TARC is designed with a crystalline architecture, advanced ideas that have been adapted to suit human needs. Human DNA is also crystalline based.

Wait, “Stelan Technology”? Yes. Two weeks ago he was all about the “Stelan Technology”, now he doesn’t mention it once!

What is he trying to cover up?

Turns out that “Stelans” are aliens living on Earth! Paris Tosen apparently has a degree in “modern Human-Stelan relations”, and runs the Office of Stelan Affairs.

I can’t imagine why Paris Tosen would try to cover up his expertise in this exciting field!

In fact, he’s an expert in many fields! He’s written a number of books.

Truly a remarkable person.

See for yourself

My Screenshot of the original project is here.
The current “Tarc” project is here.

See Also :

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Greasy Pole Dock Station

 THE GREASY POLE DOCK STATION  UNIVERSAL IPHONE& IPOD DOCKING STATION TELESCOPIC SHAFT FREE-STANDING TREE ARMS WITH TRAYS FOR COLLECTING GLASSES DURING A PARTY

Oh yeah. Time to dock my greasy pole! Oh wait. It’s not that at all.

Have you ever been at a party and needed a place to put down your drink? And your date’s drink? And the drinks of everyone else at the party?

Then you’re in luck. This free-standing cup-holder will let you put down 72 beverages at once!

Also, it plays music. Which I’m sure sounds great and doesn’t just sound like 72 rattling glasses.

Who created this crazy contraption?

This was invented by a lady called CINZIA EMILI. She includes a few autobiographical notes :
GreasyPole_02

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX CONFIRMED THE WAY I’M GROWN UP

Yikes! If dense rectangles of barely coherent all-caps text isn’t a symptom of Internet Crazy-Person Syndrome I don’t know what is.

You can get more sense from a Bronner’s Soap wrapper.

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Two theories of One

These two went up within a week of each-other.

Basically, a “Unified Theory” is a single theory that would link all forms of physics. Apparently, this is very difficult to do. Albert Einstein spent many years attempting it. So has Stephan Hawking and many other great minds. So far : nothing.

But that didn’t stop these guys!

Joe’s Theory

I contend that the Universe only deals in absolutes. 1 real Universe can only be eternally occurring here and now while travelling through one real infinite dimension, once.
There is no way that real light could ever travel from anywhere at approximately 186,000 mps. Light must be the only stationary substance in the Universe.

O….K.

I wonder how that even works. If light is staying still and we’re moving, how does light works in both directions? I guess I’d need to pledge $25 to find out.

1 is the absolute of number. Eternal is the absolute of duration. Here and now are absolutes of location and time. Infinite is the absolute of distance. Once is the absolute of history.

One (Andrew’s Theory)

“Hi, Kickstarters! My name is Andrew Macauley and I am The Scholar of the Brightest Star.”

Hi Jackass, I’m The Blogger of Perpetual Contempt!
Interphysics is essentially the science of examining the fundamental qualities of existence that are capable of being observed solely through the use of logic, rather than physical experimentation
That’s already got a name. It’s called “Philosophy”. Seriously, that’s pretty much the textbook definition of philosophy. Not that he’d know. I’m not convinced Mr Macauley has ever opened a textbook.

our definition of time is inadequate for describing how time actually unfolds, because our definition requires that the past come before the present, when in actuality, the present must come first for
And he went on like this for pages and pages. Or … I guess he will go on like this, since the past comes after the present?

If we are going to show that all things are one and that there is only one moment, we must first begin by understanding what is wrong with our current definition of time.
Hey! This is the same nonsense Joe was trying to sell us!

Here’s a final thought from The Scholar of the Brightest Star :

So how are they doing?

JoesTheory_backersOneTheory_backers

There’s a certain cosmic beauty in the fact that both of these projects (at the time I wrote this) have exactly one backer.

But here’s what confuses me :

Why are there two of these projects running at the same time?

Besides the obvious irony of two Theories of One, it seems like too much of a coincidence for both of these to have popped up within a week of each-other.

If anyone has any theories or explanations please leave them in the comments, because I’d love to hear them.

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