Dolphins With Hats

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I don’t know what “Revamping Comedy” is, but I like sketch comedy. So I’m looking forward to this one.

The Video

As most people know, the most important part of a Kickstarter pitch is the video. It’s the one thing people look at before they decide if your stupid project is worth their time. I know some creators have complained that making a compelling video is a difficult or expensive hurdle for someone whose talents lay in different areas, but, if you’re a sketch comedy troupe then you and Kickstarter should be a match made in heaven!

Let’s watch the video and see what comedy delights they have in store for us!

Haha, I’m just kidding! The video is worthless trash. It’s just stock photos. Why didn’t they film a comedy sketch for their sketch comedy Kickstarter? Because they’re idiots! These alleged comedians didn’t think to put a single joke in their project pitch!

The Troupe

Tom, Brendan (Birch), Jordan (Ging), Justin, and James are all eager to make this passion for comedy come to life. It is a stepping stone in our ventures to become SNL Cast members. We all have experience in the production business. Jordan also happens to be a musical mastermind while Tom has experience in performing comedy as well as comedy writing. We have the talent to entertain you all!

Comedy writing? That sure will come in handy if you ever have to convince strangers to put down up-front money on your comedy show!

The Social Media

This is actually part of a multi-pronged social media effort to get themselves an audition on SNL. So maybe they’re proceeding as planned, even without Kickstarter backers?
 @DWHShow hasn't tweeted yet.

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Con Pooling

 Find Your Self a Car Pool "Lane Buddy" as Service Reduce your daily commute by being in HOV lane all you need is Lane Buddy.

Carpool lanes (aka “HOV Lanes”) are a last-ditch effort to encourage people to save fuel. Ok, you won’t use public transit, you won’t buy a smaller car, you won’t move to live near where you work, could you at least carpool?

Nope! Finding a friend who also needs to go into the city would be effort, and we won’t be tricked into spending even the smallest amount of effort making the world a better place!

Here’s how we beat the system, outsmart highway planners, and maximize our fuel consumption and pollution :

Lane Buddy is a service just like renting any service. You will pay someone to join you for your daily or one time commute and allow usage of HOV lane.  The Independent Contractor (Your Lane Buddy) will get paid as a contractor weekly and you will save time (which is money) to reach your destination faster while riding in HOV lane.

The Man wants us to save fuel by carrying a passenger that needs to go to the same place as us! We’ll show them! We’ll spend money to find someone who doesn’t need to go where we’re going! Money, time, and gasoline will be wasted, but at least we hold our head up high and be proud that we haven’t helped the environment or the highway department in any way at all.

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Except that won’t work. Nobody drives out of the big city during rush hour. Everybody drives in. So these “Ride Buddies” will either have to take a bus back home, or hang around in the city for eight hours, until the end of the work day.

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YOU SLEEP!

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Well, that’s terrifying.

 a new designed . Mr Eyes  is bright a pair of happy eyes that will make your children smile. .  It is a pillow that light up with the push of a button and has a second button with a pre recorded message that says "You sleep! I will watch." Very, Very Terrifying.

They actually tried this project twice. Let’s see how they improved it.

Revised Version :

It is a pillow that light up with the push of a button and has a second button with a pre recorded message that says "You sleep!I will protect you!" Or it also has the ability to be recorded so parents can record their own message. .

You sleep! I will be vigilant!

You sleep! I shall keep the darkness at bay for as long as I am able!

You sleep! The nightmare-spawn and its dark minions will not find us here!

Grab your weapon, young one! We shall face the monsters together!

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This project kindly suggested by @hannah__forbes

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You are not Ironman

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Ever wanted to free your hands from that bulky flashlight! Well now you can! With lumiglove you can do anything while your lighting the way! It's using a light while you can still use your hands. Now it may look like something out of Iron Man but I can assure you its not

What an interesting thought. Did you actually try that?

Because it looks to me that if I do anything other than hold my hand extended in front of me like I’m a deranged Jedi Knight, I won’t be able to see where I’m going. Certainly I wouldn’t be able to hold a tool in my right hand, and still expect to see what I’m doing! (‘s OK, though. I’m lefty.)

Now it may look like something out of Iron Man but I can assure you its not (maybe even cooler).
No … I don’t think so.

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Game Quest “Inventor”

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again : Never trust anyone who describes themselves as an “Inventor”.

Hello America - I’m Mark Ross, your local inventor, and I would like to welcome you to my Kickstater campaign for registering patents for Game Quest! What is Game Quest?

Real inventors describe themselves as “engineers”, “mechanics”, “chemists”, or “game designers”. Real inventors are proud of being experts in some field, and will tell you about it. People who just call themselves an “inventor” aren’t experts at anything, but they still want the cachet that goes with having a cool job description.

This video is a treat. Most of the video features him sitting at a desk with his new invention sealed in a cardboard box.

Spoilers : He never opens the box.

This is classic Kickstarter “Inventor” syndrome.

  • He’s doesn’t show us the invention (because he’s afraid we’ll steal it.)
  • He makes absurd claims then never backs them up, or even explains what they mean.
  • He thinks we’re all going to be hyped up by an invention he never shows us.
  • He describes a patent as an “achievement”.
  • All the rewards are just copies of the patent.

That last one is great. He honestly thinks we care about his patent? It’s just a boring government document. He might as well offer us a copy of his voter registration form. But that’s how Kickstarter “Inventors” think. They believe that a patent is a mystical document, and if they can only “achieve” one, they’ll be on easy street.

(Never mind that boardgames are typically not patented.)

Remember, this is not just a boardgame anymore, this is an interactive, interfacing game system. Interfacing your imagination into the board!

I really do recommend watching the video, it’s full of gems like this. Maybe it’ll get you excited about owning an autographed copy of his patent document.

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Meat Gum!

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Meat gum. Now your breath can have the fresh smell of sausage all day long!

Mmmn… Delicious. All day I can just sit there and suck the meat flavor out of a wad of chewing gum. This is what my life has been missing.

Project Description



Hello, our company

I didn’t edit this. This is the entire project description.

This part is my favorite : “our production with tools and so on“. That should just be the description of every Kickstarter ever.

Rewards

I was thinking about backing this one. Not because I particularly want to chew on meat flavored gum, but because I thought it’d be funny to review it for this blog. Then I noticed this :
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Again, I didn’t edit this, that’s how he posted it. Blank. I guess that means there’s no reward. You don’t even get the gum.

Notice that he made it a limited reward tier. He wouldn’t want to run out of nothing and then be stuck giving some backers something. He was really worried that too many people would back this project.

It never ceases to amaze me that people are idiotic enough to honestly expect this crap to work.

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Who Is Josiah Boyar?

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This man wants to sell you a painting. A painting, by him, of you, for $50. I guess that wouldn’t be a bad deal, if the painting was any good, but the painting he offers as a sample looks strangely machine-generated to me. Like he ran a photograph through a Photoshop filter, then maybe traced the result.

Doesn’t matter, though! The quality of the painting is not the point of this project. The point of the painting is just to be an artifact of Josiah Boyar’s life. Complete with his signature!

Let me get right to the point. I'm going to be famous. I know what you may be thinking

He doesn’t say why he’s going to be famous, but I think we can rule out “Famous Comedian” and “Famous Writer”.

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