If you’re a man, and you need a place to put your things, it might occur to you that a large, nicely made wooden box would be the way to go.
But wait! If people see you putting things into a nicely made wooden chest, they might assume that it’s a hope chest, and from that, of course, it follows that you are living in hope of soon marrying a man. (hence the name.)
Oh what shame and disgrace! All because you needed a convenient storage container for your various manly items.
Ah, finally! A box made just for men. At long last, I can put my things into a box without any risk to my masculinity and heterosexuality.
…, uh. Unless “ManBox” turns out to be gay slang for something, which seems plausible but I’m not going to Google it.
Carpool lanes (aka “HOV Lanes”) are a last-ditch effort to encourage people to save fuel. Ok, you won’t use public transit, you won’t buy a smaller car, you won’t move to live near where you work, could you at least carpool?
Nope! Finding a friend who also needs to go into the city would be effort, and we won’t be tricked into spending even the smallest amount of effort making the world a better place!
Here’s how we beat the system, outsmart highway planners, and maximize our fuel consumption and pollution :
The Man wants us to save fuel by carrying a passenger that needs to go to the same place as us! We’ll show them! We’ll spend money to find someone who doesn’t need to go where we’re going! Money, time, and gasoline will be wasted, but at least we hold our head up high and be proud that we haven’t helped the environment or the highway department in any way at all.
Except that won’t work. Nobody drives out of the big city during rush hour. Everybody drives in. So these “Ride Buddies” will either have to take a bus back home, or hang around in the city for eight hours, until the end of the work day.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again : Never trust anyone who describes themselves as an “Inventor”.
Real inventors describe themselves as “engineers”, “mechanics”, “chemists”, or “game designers”. Real inventors are proud of being experts in some field, and will tell you about it. People who just call themselves an “inventor” aren’t experts at anything, but they still want the cachet that goes with having a cool job description.
This video is a treat. Most of the video features him sitting at a desk with his new invention sealed in a cardboard box.
Spoilers : He never opens the box.
This is classic Kickstarter “Inventor” syndrome.
- He’s doesn’t show us the invention (because he’s afraid we’ll steal it.)
- He makes absurd claims then never backs them up, or even explains what they mean.
- He thinks we’re all going to be hyped up by an invention he never shows us.
- He describes a patent as an “achievement”.
- All the rewards are just copies of the patent.
That last one is great. He honestly thinks we care about his patent? It’s just a boring government document. He might as well offer us a copy of his voter registration form. But that’s how Kickstarter “Inventors” think. They believe that a patent is a mystical document, and if they can only “achieve” one, they’ll be on easy street.
(Never mind that boardgames are typically not patented.)
Remember, this is not just a boardgame anymore, this is an interactive, interfacing game system. Interfacing your imagination into the board!
I really do recommend watching the video, it’s full of gems like this. Maybe it’ll get you excited about owning an autographed copy of his patent document.
Meat gum. Now your breath can have the fresh smell of sausage all day long!
Mmmn… Delicious. All day I can just sit there and suck the meat flavor out of a wad of chewing gum. This is what my life has been missing.
I didn’t edit this. This is the entire project description.
This part is my favorite : “our production with tools and so on“. That should just be the description of every Kickstarter ever.
I was thinking about backing this one. Not because I particularly want to chew on meat flavored gum, but because I thought it’d be funny to review it for this blog. Then I noticed this :
Again, I didn’t edit this, that’s how he posted it. Blank. I guess that means there’s no reward. You don’t even get the gum.
Notice that he made it a limited reward tier. He wouldn’t want to run out of nothing and then be stuck giving some backers something. He was really worried that too many people would back this project.
It never ceases to amaze me that people are idiotic enough to honestly expect this crap to work.