Roundup : Horrifying Children’s Books

My Daddy Told Me

Gah! What is that supposed to be? Is that daddy?

The Pineapple Princess

Half princess, half pineapple, all abomination against nature!


Ahhhh! His head is horrifying enough, but what is wrong with his knees?!?

There’s a Crocodile in the Stew

The crocodile doesn’t scare me, but what’s all that other stuff in the stew?

Ishnabobber Books

A giant ghost is crushing that girl with a giant bible!

Like a Fish on a Bike

It’s against the natural order, it is.

Bubby and the Goodie-Jar



Poop Calendar!

When I look down the street at all the people in this town I think “These idiots can barely drive their own cars.” I absolutely do not think “We should get these people to process their own sewage! That’s a great idea that certainly won’t contaminate our water supply!”

Sewage Treatment is one of those things I think should be left to professionals who know what the hell they’re doing, like brain surgery or teaching calculus.

But the people from the “Fertile Earth Foundation” disagree. They want people to think a lot more about their poop. And what’s the best way to sell something?

That’s right! Combine it with sex! If you want to advertise Coca-Cola, show sexy ladies drinking Coca-Cola. If you want to advertise poop …


Uhm, actually, animals that live in densely populated communities, like most humans do, spend an enormous amount of their time on sanitation. Otherwise beehives would be full of bee poop.

Really hoping that’s mud.




Here’s a book created by a six year old after the first time someone explained the gun control debate to him.

Haha! Just Kidding! This is Major Tom (From “Planet Nubia“) again!

Now, I’ll come right out and admit that like any good East-coast liberal, I’m in favor of strong gun control laws, but reading this Kickstarter posting made me want to stand on a street corner and hand out assault rifles to children!

I can already tell that this is going to be a serious book that doesn’t trivialize other people’s opinions.

Don’t worry, though! Major Tom has SOLVED the gun control debate.
Wow… yea… Sure, I don’t see any problems with that plan.

Don’t like Major Tom’s position on Gun Control? Then you should pay him $500 so you can put a 250 word rebuttal in his book.

That makes perfect sense.


Girls with Spotlights on Planet Nubia


Major Tom needs $20,000 to shoot a short film. Basically, as far as I can tell, this is a film about a girl in a motercycle helmet pointing a spotlight at things, while the editor presses every single button on his video toaster.

Yea, I hear that movies about girls in motorcycle helmets do really well at Sundance.

In addition to the Kickstarter video, he’s also produced this teaser : (Click to download the .wmv file.)
Notice how you can still see the wrinkles in the green-screen. That’s some quality editing right there.


Watch your tail.

“Tailly”, the tail that wags when you get excited

This project needs £60,000 (About $95k) to build electronic tails for people to wear.

Sure, we’ve all wished that we had a long fluffy tail to let people around us know if we were excited or not, but evolution didn’t give us one! Now technology has solved that problem!

Fantastic! …but, where could I wear such a thing?

Yes, of course. Exactly what I need on a date is something that tells the world if my heart rate goes up.

Incidentally, it’s really only going to “Add a level of communication” if you and your date spend the evening staring at each others’ butts.

Who invented this crazy thing anyway?

Of course. Here he is wearing his other invention : Necomimi, the cat ears that move according to your brainwaves.


Subies : a “Roguelike” game for iOS.

SUBIES iOS/PC – “Attack The Depths”

I heartily recommend watching this video demo of a iPhone game. This may be the funniest video on all of Kickstarter.

“See, we relax sometimes because if shaking ship down hurts the fuel!”

Yes, of course it does.

Sadly, this is not a Kickstarter for a series of hilarious videos, they actually want us to buy this game!

Uh … yea … ok … wow.
This is like a carpenter telling you how excited he is about one day owning a hammer, because he doesn’t want to have to keep pounding the nails in with his forehead.

Wow, he totally filled in a government form and paid a $50 registration fee!

And to prove it, he showed us a photograph of his credit card!

Uh, dude, I can still make out the numbers.