Rage Quit!

Anti Dragon / Witch / Zombie stones hand-crafted by Albert Gimbleweed.

Stripped of their backstory and magical properties, these are polished rocks in a rustic, but nicely made, display case.

Charming, but they don’t really need upfront cash to be produced, and they’re from (so far as I can tell) an unknown artist, so it’s not hard to see why this didn’t attract too many takers. The truth is, unknown artists peddling polished rocks as whimsical talismans are not hard to find. Go to any flea market and you’re sure to find a couple.

It probably didn’t help that the lowest reward tier that actually offered a stone was a rather steep £55 (about $85).

So what?

Still, whimsical folk-art is still art, and there’s certainly no shame in trying! So why am I laughing so hard?

Here’s the project as it appears today :

Que? Where's the crowd?

There isn’t much I find funnier than a rage-quit!

When Kickstarter didn’t turn out to be a magical money machine, Craig Palmer decided that Kickstarter must instead be a gigantic scam, and defaced his own project page to get the word out! (Apparently the thought that people might simply not want his rocks was too terrible to contemplate.)

gimbleweed_03

To be honest, I don’t quite follow this. I’m pretty sure that if it was more coherent it would be a scathing indictment of Kickstarter and all that it stands for.

The risks and challenges that I may face could only really be the possibility that Kickstarter doesn't really work. Then it should be called Non-Starter.
Well this is clearer anyway.

Sorry dude. If you thought Kickstarter’s job was to magically make people want your product, or to magically conjure money out of people without first getting them interested, then, yeah, you’re right. It doesn’t do that.



This article kindly suggested by reader Lee Ann Rucker

Equine Ignorance!

 The ponies in the picture are missing something... embroidery! With your help, I can fix that and make my plushes at least 20% cooler.

Here’s another plush unauthorized My Little Pony project! These turn up from time to time. Sorry for not keeping you up to date on all of them, but most of them just aren’t hilarious.

This one’s about what you would expect. Someone wants some money to make a bunch of plushes featuring characters from Hasbro’s telvision show “My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic

So why am I featuring this one? Well this caught my eye. It has a potential to be hilarious.

From the FAQ

 Isn't this breaking copyright law? Won't Hasbro be sending you a cease and desist order?  First of all, "copyright law" deals with directly copying something in a specific medium. I would be breaking copyright law if I took a plush made by Hasbro itself, used that pattern, and made plushes of my own. Since I'm not doing that, no, I'm not breaking copyright law.

No. That’s completely wrong. Copyright also covers “Derivative Works”, which is why you can’t publish your own Harry Potter books, even if you don’t copy a single word from J.K.Rowling. Worse than that, in 1978 the courts ruled (Walt Disney v. The ‘Air Pirates) that characters themselves are copyrighted, and using them in another work is copyright infringement.

So to recap, you’re creating a derivitive work of MLP:FiM, for which they can nail you, also you’re copying several characters, for which they can also nail you.

She goes on for a few paragraphs about how she “may” be violating Hasbro’s trademarks, and then finally ends on this :

So to give you the tl:dr version, no, Hasbro won't be sending me a cease and desist order.
Wanna place a friendly wager on that? Judging from recent other MLP plushies projects, I give you about a 50% odds of lasting long enough to collect the money.

Friday Quickies.

I used to Like Kickstarter

*Sigh*. Ever since Kickstarter stopped screening their projects this is just getting too easy. Kickstarter is now just as bad as IndieGoGo. There’s more dumb projects than real projects!
 Cat Capes!  by Amy  We want to make capes for our 3 cats. We're convinced that they're constantly jumping off of furniture in an attempt to fly.
Really? Maybe this is a joke project, but I have a terrible feeling this person really hopes to get the money.

Either way, isn’t it great that it’s now allowed on Kickstarter?!?

There’s even Free Energy Scams!


These fools and con-artists were once forced to use IndieGoGo. Not any more! Now they can use Kickstarter just like legitimate projects!

Punctuation is important


They really need a comma between “on” and “candy”.

It’s funny, because it’s a joke from a TV Show!

tension sheet
It was funny on Red Dwarf. It’s not funny when you do it.

Kickstarter has stopped enforcing their rules.


This person clearly has no idea how game controllers even work, so how did he make the prototype that kickstarter absolutely requires for all electronic gadgets? Oh, that’s right. He didn’t. And Kickstarter doesn’t care anymore.

We’ve got those already

 by Christopher Phillip Tucker  Trying to create a album full of repeating lyrics with great beats
Those are called “Songs”.

Is this racist?


Is this racist? Not the glow-in-the-dark Tee-Pees, because that’s a real part of our nation’s glow-in-the-dark history. I mean calling them “injian tee-pees”.

Lil’ bit stupider

lilbit_01
lilbit_02

Ok. Painted (or sparkly) wine glasses and thermos bottles, cheaper than Etsy, and faster than I could do myself. Sounds reasonable.

Let’s take a look at the only reward level offered by this project :
lilbit_reward

Huh. Wait a moment. I need to work this out on my calculator.

Screen Shot 2014-06-24 at 11.30.48 PM

Hmm… I feel like this is going to make it difficult to reach the $5,000 goal.

I wonder if there are other … “number problems”.

This lady clearly has some issues with basic math. Better double-check her other number-related claims.

Is this truly cheaper than what I could get on Etsy?
lilbit_etsy

Is it at least quicker than I could do myself?

lilbit_delivery


Thanks to reader Henry S. for pointing this out to me!

Two options for a new bag.

frackpac_01
frackpac_02
Here’s an interesting bag named after either the hydraulic fracturing mining process, or an expletive for pretend astronauts,

It’s got a weird design. It serves as a normal backpack to carry your computer around, but it also unfolds into a “Portable workstation”!

Ugh! I don’t know about you, but just looking at that guy try to use his laptop makes my neck and wrists hurt. It would be difficult to make a less ergonomic laptop using experience.

Wait, what’s stopping that guy’s laptop from just sliding out?
frackpac_03

Oh, that’s right. We need to glue velcro to our laptop to make it work with this bag.

If you absolutely have to use keep up with your Twitter feed while you’re walking around in public, I suggest getting a Google Glass, but wouldn’t you rather just enjoy your walk, and then sit down to use your computer?

start_purse_01

Was that last bag too high tech for you? Want something older-school? Mr Donald Lee Confer is trying to start a purse company. This is the only photograph he provides, but I think we can extrapolate a lot from it.

For $100 he will send you one of these purses made from rough cuts of scrap animal hide, and closed with a simple bone clasp. (Not a joke!) I’m not an expert, but to me, the stitch-work also looks like something a child might do at summer camp.

If you pay an extra $50 he’ll decorate it with “a drawing of a deer”.

I don’t understand this. I can only assume that there’s some kind of “Caveman punk” fad going on among America’s teenagers and I just haven’t heard of it. I feel so old.

Expensive Dots.

Ink And Newspaper - Environmentally friendly, screen-printed, wrapping paper. Screen-printed on recycled newspaper with water-based inks.
InkAndNewspaper_02

Apparently, all you have to do to convert old newspaper into wrapping paper is to print some polka-dots on it.

How much will it cost you to buy some wrapping paper that will turn your fingers black with cheap newspaper ink?

Why, only £12 (about $19) for 10 sheets!

That’s £1.20/sheet! (about $1.90/sheet)

When you consider that old newspaper is basically free, those are some expensive dots.