This woman wants to manufacture small ceramic (or possibly plush) figures to give to people on their birthdays. There would be twelve designs, one for each month, but she can’t tell us about them because that would ruin the surprise.
She does offer us this one possible design (apparently in crayon?) for the January figurine (or plush).
I’m not sure why the little kid has an icon on his butt like he’s a My Little Pony, but apparently that kid will appear in all the figurines. (or plushes)
The Best Part :
But the best part of this project is the video. Check this out :
The video is a strange business proposal and it’s written in a language that is not formal English, but it’s what you might think formal English was like if your only exposure to it was from the nerdy character on a sit-com.
There’s a lot of big words in this video, and I don’t think she knows what half of them mean.
The Video :
Go ahead and watch it yourself. It’s really awkward, you’ll feel embarrassed for the presenter before it’s over.
The Rewards :
I get my name on a website and I get a signed certificate?!?
Sorry, an authentically signed certificate!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been burned by fake signed certificates from people selling figurines (or plushes) on the Internet!
Better than that, it’s going to be stamped by a “Sealed embosser”. Personally, I don’t know how she’s going to use her embosser while it’s still sealed in its box, but I’m sure she’ll figure it out.
You think she meant “Seal Embosser”? (ie, a device that embosses a seal?)
Memorial shrines with electronic candles.
I can tell you right now, if anybody memorializes me like this, I promise I’ll come back to haunt you.
Seriously, I’ll be dragging spectral chains in your attic every night for years, until finally, on a full-moon anniversary of my death, when my ghost energy is the strongest, I will hypnotize you into electrocuting yourself with this stupid candle.
Ugh. You have got to be kidding me!
But wait, there’s more!
Hidden behind the photo-frame is a serial number. If the Kickstarter reaches its stretch-goal of $40,000 this serial number will give you access to a web version of the memorial!
So classy it’s even got an animated gif!
Thanks to @alexcerne for the tip.
A man named Nobu Lemke has invented the most wasteful possible way to customize a t-shirt.
He starts with a dark colored T-shirt and places a piece of glass on top. Then the glass is smashed with a hammer, and bleach is sprayed between the cracks.
It’s like tie-dying, except instead of using a piece of string or a rubber band, you’re using a pane of glass!
Ok, sure it’s clever, but not all clever ideas are good ideas.
(On the other hand, it looks like this guy is going to make a fortune on this, so what do I know?)
“Close your eyes for one moment, and try to imagine an entire wall sprinkled with tits. Have you ever desired something like this? I have indeed!”
Continue reading Wall of Tits
Amanda Milbury’s “newest business venture” is a Kickstarter project where she’ll make you an incredibly realistic doll.
These are what you call “Reborn Dolls” and they’re intensely creepy.
But Amanda Milbury (AKA Northern Lights Nursery) doesn’t manufacture these dolls, she just “makes” them. You see, Reborn Dolls are sold as kits. Making a reborn doll is pretty much the same process as making a model airplane. Only creepier.
So, send this woman three hundred bucks, and she’ll buy a creepy doll kit, put it together, paint it, and mail it to you.
Or will she?
Probably not. What’s probably going to happen is that she’s going to take your money and then never talk to you again.
Let’s ask her previous customers!
Does it surprise anyone that after pissing off customers on eBay, Etsy, and doll-trading forums, Amanda Milbury is now trying to expand her “business” into Kickstarter? It fills my heart with hope to say that it looks like Kickstarter users aren’t dumb enough to fall for it.
But how much you want to bet she’ll try IndieGoGo next?
Until then, here’s a creepy-ass doll staring into your soul.
…And the result?
This project ran twice.
The first time it failed, the second time it succeeded in raising $861.
Ladies, are you tired of using magnets designed for men? Don’t you wish someone would design a magnet for women?
Well, if this man can raise $5,000 then your prayers are answered!
(Be aware that the magnets shown above are only prototypes. For the finished magnets he’s also ordered Swarovski crystals, and “super sparkly glitter paint”.)
If I wore that bracelet, I’d slit my wrists.
Not from the shame, just, you know, the sharp edges.