Cat Tunes

Music for cats

You’re kidding me, he doesn’t really mean that?

I am an electronic music maker who has been able to put cats into a trance whilst they listen to my music.  I hope to create an album just for cats.

He does mean it. He’s making music for cats. He claims to have worked out mathmatically exactly what sort of music cats like.

(This project has no video, and no sample music, so I guess we’ll just have to take his word for it.)

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Ten bucks for one song? Wow. Cat Music is expensive! Who knew?

See Also :

Doggy Tunes Headphones for Dogs! Doggy Tunes — Headphones for Dogs!

Sexy, Sexy Suitcase

Sexy Suitcase

Sexy suitcase? It … doesn’t look sexy. It just looks old fashioned. Is a naked lady going to jump out of it?

 When you open the Sexy Suitcase, you'll be able to store all of your important documents and bust out some tunes at any given time!
Documents? In a suitcase? I think you’re thinking of a “briefcase”.

I know it sounds like a nitpick, but if you bring an actual suitcase to a business meeting, you will be laughed at. And not in a good way, in a lets-fire-this-person kind of way.

  Imagine working all day in the same boring, dead end job, day in, day out.  Thanks to the Sexy Suitcase, those days are over! Imagine heading off to your next business meeting with all of your important documents and a sweet sound system all in one!   You can take it anywhere and look like a professional raver ;)

None of that makes sense! If, for some reason, you needed to blast tunes at a business meeting, you’d just plug your laptop or iPad into the conference room’s sound system. (The one they use for presentations and video conferences.) If you unfold a suitcase sound system like you’re at some sort of raver tail-gating party you will not have a good meeting.

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They’re not offering the suitcases as rewards mind you. They need $2000 to make just one suitcase. And if you pledge the entire $2000 yourself, they’ll mention your name on a YouTube video. Hooray.

Digital Ditties for Doggies.

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Yes! Finally!

Is your cat or dog stressed out? Either by loud noises, or just by the crushing ennui of having the instincts of a predator in a comfy suburban home? No problem! Play that domesticated beast some soothing tunes!

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Oh, good point. If my cat tuned the stereo to the Country station, I’d probably have him put down.

He’s going to need his own 4gb mp3 player!

For the, admittedly quite reasonable, price of $98, you can get fluffy his own mp3 player that he (or his owner) can load up with the mp3s that he likes. Hours of non-stop doggy music, without bothering his human owners!

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Rock on, pooch! Rock on.

The Rapper of Baghdad

What if Saddam Hussein recorded a hip hop album during his 8 months in hiding? This project finally answers that question!

Here’s a fun project from Andy Pokel, a music teacher in Houston :
The premise is, what if Saddam Hussein had a recording studio in his underground lair? And what if he used it to create a hip hop mixtape as a diary?

He gave us a couple samples of the album. Here’s “You Can Call Me“.
You Can Call Me

Hussein, the crusher, the master of hearts,
The Butcher of Baghdad, the light in the dark,
He who confronts, madman of the middle east,
President of Iraq, Commander in Chief,

I’m not thrilled about these rhymes. Am I the only one who think they’re a bit of a stretch?

Let’s listen to the other one : “If I Don’t Make It
If I Don’t Make It

I don’t know how I ever got so damn lucky.
Two wives and two sons and I ruled the best country.
Right now it’s difficult, My heart is full of grief and guilt.
Yet, I’m so proud of this nation I have built.
No matter how much the west might try to take
It’s only their own eternal graves that they make.

Oh yeah, I can already tell that’s going to go over real well in Texas.

DISCLAIMER Before you send hate mail, please understand that UNDERGROUND does not have a political, personal, or religious agenda. I am neither supporting nor mocking Saddam Hussein, the nation of Iraq, or the Muslim faith. Despite the ridiculous nature of the concept (i.e. Saddam rapping), I do not find his life or death to be funny. My goals are to understand, humanize, educate, and entertain.
Life Tip : If your project needs a disclaimer like this, you should probably just do a different project.

It will replace CDs!

 Revolutionizing how Music Albums are Sold  The Flarian Music Player is an alternative to CDs to sell music albums on. It would allow you to play albums right off the shelf.
The Flarian Music Player is an alternative to CDs to sell music albums on. It would allow you to play albums right off the shelf.

An alternative to CDs? For record stores? What decade are you people living in?

The idea here, believe it or not, is that instead of selling music on CDs, music stores should sell their music on disposable mp3 players.

Since it’s completely impossible to deliver music instantly to my computer or my iPod, this is the next best thing. I’ll just go to the store, and buy a new mp3 player that’s already loaded with the music I want to listen to!
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Environmentally Friendly?

They even have the balls to claim it’s “Environmentally Friendly”! Look :
Environmentally-Friendly  The Flarian Music Player is made out of landfill grade post-consumer regrind plastic (i.e. plastic materials that are supposed to end up in landfills). This kind of recycled plastic is very difficult to incorporate in products because it has very poor structural properties. Our very own, Ali Rizvi (co-founder), has developed a technology as a part of his doctoral research that enables the restoration of properties of the plastic, making it suitable for use in the Flarian Music Player, thereby reducing costs and environmental impact.
Because your product contains, one recycled material it’s automatically environmentally friendly? Haha, Yea right!

You’re manufacturing a piece of electronics that nobody needs, packaging it, shipping it from the factory to North America, then from the warehouse to the store, all so the customer can use it once before he copies the mp3s to his iPod and never touches your device again!

It would honestly be ten times better for the environment if you left that “recycled plastic” in a landfill where you found it!

The really insulting part is that they’re smart people (one of them is a PhD candidate), they know full well that “Environmentally Friendly” is a baldfaced lie.
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Pricing

Ok, fine, how much does this “replacement for CDs” cost?
Set of 100 Customized Flarian Music Players - $4,500
$45 a pop, wholesale? Fantastic.

iMusic BodyRythm : The Music Bib

iMusic BodyRythm : The first app-enabled music device that lets you physically feel the beats of your favorite tracks, creating your own music experience.

In the olden days when you wanted to “turn music rhythms into a physical experience” you had to get up off the couch and start dancing.

No more! Now you can put on this handy bib (with patented zipper!) and it will let you “feel the catchy beats that millions of people have only heard!”. Which means, of course, that it’s going to “tap” on your shoulders.

Feel the auto-synched beats of the music

He looks like he’s having fun.

The device weights in at a hefty five pounds, and contains no batteries, so it must be plugged into an 110v electrical outlet while in use.