Zombie Bible

Zombie Bible -  As a parody of biblical events it will be full of satire, innuendo and outrageousness This is a book of fiction about a book of fiction

Look, just because “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” was a best-seller, doesn’t mean that everyone should go around adding zombies to old books!

In fact, I think nobody should do that since it’s probably the least creative or intelligent way to write a book I can possibly imagine.

I am so tired of the “believers” shoving their beliefs on me that I decided to rewrite the bible using science, common sense, absurdism, and intellectual stupidity... just as this book deserves. At least it will be a fun read... thanks.
Wonderful, I love being preached at!

I’m an athiest, and this is already starting to offend me.

ZombieBible_03
Ugh, the unbearable smugness!

A lot of these don’t even seem like a big deal. Besides a few fundamentalists, would any Christians be shocked at the suggestion that the first plague of Egypt was a red algae bloom instead of literal blood? Who cares? The point is that their water supply became smelly and undrinkable, not that you could bag it and use it for transfusions!

And it goes on like this for pages…

But you know what he barely mentions at all? That’s right : Zombies.

It’s almost like the zombie on the cover was just a trick to get us to buy his preachy book!

Now I am offended!


Edit (5/2/13) : Ha ha! Commenter David Bird points out that this guy needs to brush up on his editing skills.
Anything less than a serious injury or death will not delay this project. I write on a daily bases. This project is already under way and the outline is done.
(It’s also possible that he’s tunneled under a street (or “way”) and writes the book on bases stolen from a local ball park. I’m not ruling anything out.)

Hidden Ark : (Not actually hidden.)

The Hidden Ark
This a wooden ark entirely man-made containing the measurements used by noah in the bible and designed to become an animal park.

These people need 1.5 million dollars to build an exact, full-scale, recreation of Noah’s Ark.

They must know something we don’t.

HiddenArk_03
I know it’s not supposed to be a real ship, but it really bugs me that they’ve got a row of windows that are clearly below the waterline. (You can’t see it from this angle, but their design also includes a rudder, which wouldn’t work on this type of boat.)