Physics Crazies

Imagine you had never learned to play an instrument. Would your lack of training or experience give you an “open mind” that made you uniquely qualified to give violin lessons?

Imagine you had never seen an episode of Star Trek, but you’d seen a few clips once during an advertisement. Would you go to a convention full of Star Trek nerds and say “I think that tall guy with the pointy ears is secretly an agent for the bad guys, who I’ve named ‘Dark Centaurs’ because Alpha Centauri might be where they come from.”

Imagine you were arrested, and your lawyer told you he had never read any law books, but he’d come up with his own theory on how the law probably works?

Absurd, right? But! there is a field where people do feel confident making up wild-ass theories off the top of their head without actually learning what anyone else has done in that field. Physics.

We Fight Gravity

we_fight_gravity_01
This man saw a television special about gravity. And decided he wanted to do important work in this field.
Instead of the very hard research, study, and mathematics that would require, he just made stuff up based entirely on “pop science” sources like TV documentaries. Suffice it to say his “theories” are high-school level insights and misunderstandings dressed up in a bunch of made up terminology. The “problems” he thinks he’s solving were resolved almost a century ago, but he’s not educated enough to understand the solutions.
Of course, no effort has been made to test his theories.

BLINK: The Quadrature Theory of Everything!

quad_physics_01
This man is even further from reality. “Quadrature ” is the word for any one of several out-of-date methods for determining the area under a curve. It’s what the ancient Greeks had instead of calculus.
I don’t think this man knows that, though. Apparently Quadrature is the God of the old testimate, but it’s also a new form of physics that will bring about world peace.
Of course, no effort has been made to test his theories.

Common Ground

Interesting thing, BOTH of these projects seem to think that modern physics are “proved” to be wrong because speed is measured as a factor of time, and special relativity tells us that time is not constant. Therefore how can the Speed of Light possibly be constant? Checkmate, scientists!

If these guys were better educated, they’d know that they are not the first person to think of this. Einstein worked this out before he even published his theories back in 1905. Furthermore, since then the solutions he figured out are actually well tested.

Conclusion

These people have always existed. Ask any physics professor, they’ll tell you that they get hundreds of “manuscripts” from people who are uneducated and have just the right kind of brain problem to think that doesn’t matter. I don’t know why Physics attracts these people so much, but it’s kind of sad that instead of pestering some hapless professor, nowadays they make a fool of themselves in public

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Two theories of One

These two went up within a week of each-other.

Basically, a “Unified Theory” is a single theory that would link all forms of physics. Apparently, this is very difficult to do. Albert Einstein spent many years attempting it. So has Stephan Hawking and many other great minds. So far : nothing.

But that didn’t stop these guys!

Joe’s Theory

I contend that the Universe only deals in absolutes. 1 real Universe can only be eternally occurring here and now while travelling through one real infinite dimension, once.
There is no way that real light could ever travel from anywhere at approximately 186,000 mps. Light must be the only stationary substance in the Universe.

O….K.

I wonder how that even works. If light is staying still and we’re moving, how does light works in both directions? I guess I’d need to pledge $25 to find out.

1 is the absolute of number. Eternal is the absolute of duration. Here and now are absolutes of location and time. Infinite is the absolute of distance. Once is the absolute of history.

One (Andrew’s Theory)

“Hi, Kickstarters! My name is Andrew Macauley and I am The Scholar of the Brightest Star.”

Hi Jackass, I’m The Blogger of Perpetual Contempt!
Interphysics is essentially the science of examining the fundamental qualities of existence that are capable of being observed solely through the use of logic, rather than physical experimentation
That’s already got a name. It’s called “Philosophy”. Seriously, that’s pretty much the textbook definition of philosophy. Not that he’d know. I’m not convinced Mr Macauley has ever opened a textbook.

our definition of time is inadequate for describing how time actually unfolds, because our definition requires that the past come before the present, when in actuality, the present must come first for
And he went on like this for pages and pages. Or … I guess he will go on like this, since the past comes after the present?

If we are going to show that all things are one and that there is only one moment, we must first begin by understanding what is wrong with our current definition of time.
Hey! This is the same nonsense Joe was trying to sell us!

Here’s a final thought from The Scholar of the Brightest Star :

So how are they doing?

JoesTheory_backersOneTheory_backers

There’s a certain cosmic beauty in the fact that both of these projects (at the time I wrote this) have exactly one backer.

But here’s what confuses me :

Why are there two of these projects running at the same time?

Besides the obvious irony of two Theories of One, it seems like too much of a coincidence for both of these to have popped up within a week of each-other.

If anyone has any theories or explanations please leave them in the comments, because I’d love to hear them.

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