Cube the Roll!

 A tissue box that can be used both on the bathroom roller and on any flat surface. Custom designed. This item has a patent.

I’m glad to hear that this item has a patent! I was really worried! I can’t tell you how many Kickstarter projects I don’t back because I can’t tell whether or not they have a patent!

But what the heck is it?

Judging from the one and only photograph (no video) it looks like it’s a tissue box with two holes punched in it. … And then placed on a toilet paper dispenser? For some reason?


Having a large family we were faced with extreme challenges to keep our bathrooms sanitized and germ free at all times. Most tissues rolls seem to fall to the floor where liquid waste is erroneously dispersed by male toddlers, adolescent’s or even those adults that just can’t get the aim right! Some rolls were dropped in the toilet by one of my many grandchildren and even sometimes chewed up by our family pet. I wanted a remedy.

That’s … not a real problem! That is not a real problem that people have!

I mean, just to spell it out for the people who have never changed a roll of toilet paper, the roll can’t “fall off” the dispenser! There’s a rod going through it. This is not some sort of conjurer’s linking rings trick being performed in your bathroom by lavatory sorcerers!

Perhaps I’m being too harsh. Maybe her toilet-paper holder is broken, but she doesn’t realize. Maybe her kids, unbeknownst to her, are unhitching the mechanism. Maybe, but who cares? This invention wouldn’t solve either of those problems.


Not only that, It’s expensive. I don’t mean that she’s only giving samples to people (ok, “person”) who pledge $100, or more. I mean that toilet paper costs $1.73 per thousand sheets, and facial tissue costs $16.64 per thousand sheets. I realize that a facial tissue provides a little more, ahem, ‘coverage‘ than a sheet of toilet paper, but not nine and half times more!

Finally, if you choose to invest in this exciting new technology developed by punching two holes into a cardboard box, I hope you’ve got a good plumbing system. Facial tissues aren’t designed to be flushable, and a surprising amount of household plumbing just can’t handle them.

No wonder there’s “liquid waste” on the floor of her bathroom.


Strap & Crap

Strap and Crap : The Strap and Crap™ helps lessen the chance of messin' your pants when participating in outdoor activities.

This lady wanted $12,500 to develop a new way to poop outdoors!

The Strap and Crap™ helps lessen the chance of messin' your pants when participating in outdoor activities.

How does it do this? Let’s take a look at the logo, which is also a helpful diagram!

Strap & Crap logo

Of course. Because the hardest part of being an outdoors-person isn’t the hiking or climbing, it’s the squatting!

I’d like to point out that if you’re in a national forest, you’re required by law to follow proper procedures for disposing of your “crap”. This involves burying it at least 6″ down in most regions, or plastic-bagging it deserts, tundras, or rocky environments. So if you’re using a “Strap & Crap” be sure to work on your aim.

They’ve also got these lovely promotional T-shirts.
Strap & Crap T-Shirt : lessen the chance of messin' your pants

Update :

As of late this February, Strap And Crap has changed it’s name to “Loop N’ Poop”! See their web-page at!

See Also :



Poop Calendar!

When I look down the street at all the people in this town I think “These idiots can barely drive their own cars.” I absolutely do not think “We should get these people to process their own sewage! That’s a great idea that certainly won’t contaminate our water supply!”

Sewage Treatment is one of those things I think should be left to professionals who know what the hell they’re doing, like brain surgery or teaching calculus.

But the people from the “Fertile Earth Foundation” disagree. They want people to think a lot more about their poop. And what’s the best way to sell something?

That’s right! Combine it with sex! If you want to advertise Coca-Cola, show sexy ladies drinking Coca-Cola. If you want to advertise poop …


Uhm, actually, animals that live in densely populated communities, like most humans do, spend an enormous amount of their time on sanitation. Otherwise beehives would be full of bee poop.

Really hoping that’s mud.


Dog poop book!

This man needs $5,000 to create a coffee table book about dogs pooping.

I’m not sure what else needs to be said about that.

Oh, so you’re not taking the photos yourself, you’re just going to “collect” them.

Ok, where are you collecting them from?

(I think he means the book.)

Of course! That’s why it’s “Crowdsourced”. I get it! You want us to take the photos that you are going to sell.

Ok, I guess I could donate a picture to your business venture. How do I do that?

You know what? I just remembered, I don’t have a dog.