Cybermatrix 100

cyber_01

Ladies and gentlemen, meet inventor Schaun Bishop (aka “Piscea Sikono”). He’s twice tried to launch the same project on Kickstarter, but first let’s see what he has to say about himself.

I LIVE IN ST LOUIS FOR ABOUT 18 YEARS NOW, AND I WAS RAISED IN A POOR HOUSEHOLD, GOT HOSPITILIZED 15 DIFFERENT TIMES AND I ALWAYS SPEND MONEY ON THINGS I ONLY WANT RATHER NEED. IN A HOUSE OF JUST MY PARENTS AND ME, HOWEVER I WAS RAISED IN ORLANDO, FL IN A HOUSE OF 2 OLDER SISTERS, AND ONE OLDER BROTHER. I WAS RAISED IN A LARGE SIZED FAMILY, BUT I LIVE ALONE WITH PARENTS THAT LOVES ME AND CARES FOR ME. I JUST WISH I DIDN'T ABUSE THEM.
That … doesn’t really give me confidence that he can effectively manage $25,000 of our money.

To do a Kickstarter, you really need to be skilled in money management and — wait. … What was that last bit?
cyber_03
Yikes! Let’s just move right on to the project, shall we?

A world-changing invention

CYBRMATRIX 100

Actually, he calls his invention the “Cybermatrix 100″, but whatever. Maybe he’s gone all New-Media/Web2.0 on us. (Like “Tumblr”)

CYBER MATRIX NOW LOADING...

What does it do?

the cybermatrix has the ability to make video and cyber based games using one engine, and you can make movies and music as well using one engine.it comes with the powerbooth, powerportal, cyberstove, rom attatchment, galaxy attatchment, artificial intelligence system [ai system], and power-controller.

My favorite part is the cyber stove. I’m going to use it to heat up some cyber mac&cheese.

As far as I can tell, this is some absurd cross between a gaming console, and a full-body virtual reality device that literally uploads you to cyberspace a la ‘Tron‘ or ‘The Matrix‘.

The numerous illustrations show something that looks like an x-box controller, but also a giant blue oval with sliding doors that the user is apparently sealed into during operation.

You’re probably following all this so far, but you’re wondering what will you see while the device is loading the files it needs to operate? Mr. Bishop has anticipated your curiosity, and illustrated with this informative diagram :
CyberMatrix - Now Loading

Cyberspace is dangerous

We’ve all seen movies. I learned at an early age from documentaries like ‘The Matrix‘ and ‘VR5‘ that if you die in cyberspace you die in real life, or at best become a mindless vegetable. Better check the FAQ (that I swear I am not making up) to make sure he’s taken care of this frightening possibility.
FAQ (about getting trapped in CYBERSPACE!)

That’s all well and good, but it still leaves one question un-answered.

for people who are concerned about my console being used as an act of terror, it won't.

Now that he’s answered our questions, it’s only fair that he get to ask us a question.

dear users:  i was wondering when i get a virtual prototype from invention home, after i get my project funded, what tools do i need on how to make a physical prototype out of my virtual prototype?  i also need advice on how to build it?  if anyone has answers, let me know.  schaun out.


Thanks to reader @0xC0FFEE for teaching me, to my astonishment, that my favorite beverage can be represented in hexadecimal, and for recommending the topic for this article.

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Quantum Placebos

The most entertaining pieces of flim-flam on the Internet are the pseudo-science scams. Especially the ones that use the word “Quantum”.

These people speak the magic words that they’ve heard scientists say, (Words like “Quantum”, “Particle”, or “Frequency”) and they build things from componants they’ve seen scientists use. (Things like crystals, wire, and metal coils.) And when it’s done, they don’t understand how to scientifically test something, so they just trust their instincts, and their instincts tell them that if they put that much work into something, it must work.

Hilariously, it doesn’t work.


Mayan Quantum Energy Pyramid in the USA

 Mayan Quantum Energy Pyramid in the USA  This pyramid will capture the energy that will come down from the galactic center to our planet on December 21, 22, 23, 2012.
These people needed money to build a pyramid to capture quantum energy during the Mayan calender roll-over.

It’s really two pyramids in one. The first is a “particle decelerator” and the other a “energy amplifier”. Of course.

Apparently, they actually built and deployed this pyramid last December, which explains why that world is so much more peaceful and happy now.

Quantum Abundance Generator

 Quantum Abundance Generators  Fine art, sacred geometry, alchemy, & feng shui merge, creating my First Edition, Limited series of 260 Quantum Abundance Generators.
Stripped of all the verbage, this is a good luck charm. It will make you happier, richer, and healthier. Additionally it will reduce crime in your neighborhood, and cause you to make new friends.
I’m not joking, those are all things he claims these spheres will do.

I suppose it’ll also make a nice paperweight.

What are they made of?
quantum_04_QAG
The usual nonsense, but “Monatomic gold” is my favorite. Monatomic gold is a substance used in new-age alchemy that is made by dissolving certain dirt in sulfuric acid and baking the resulting goop at high temperatures.
Interesting Facts about “Monatomic Gold” :

  • It is not monatomic.
  • It contains no gold.
  • It is not a superconductor.

(But of course you can buy little vials of it to use as an old-timey cure-all.)


Ziblee beverage pleasure enhancer

 Ziblee beverage pleasure enhancer  Briefly stir your favorite adult beverage with the Ziblee and be amazed at the improvement in flavor and smoothness.
quantum_02_Ziblee It’s a tiny whisk, about the right size to make a robin’s egg omelet, with a quartz crystal inside the wire part. Apparently, they’ve “installed certain frequencies” into the crystal, even though that’s not really a thing you can do.

“So really, this is like quantum physics for the wine drinker. What this does is it impacts the beverage on the molecular level.”

If this were true, it’d be very dangerous. Luckily, it is not true.

On the other hand, I really do like the stand.

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