These aren’t the Voyages…

enterprise_01

This man wants to buy himself $75k worth of engineering software, rent an office, and pay his own salary for a year, so he can work full time making pretend real.

enterprise_02

No rescue after we leave orbit? That’s … really not a problem, since no manned spaceship in human history has ever left Earth orbit. The farthest we’ve ever gone is the Moon, and that’s still in Earth orbit.

By the way, it counts as a spelling error if you randomly insert spaces into compound words like “mockup”.

enterprise_03
It would beat joining the Navy, I guess.

(Just so you know. I tried really hard to come up with a pun on the word “collage”, but my brain failed me, I couldn’t think of one.)

enterprise_04
Oh man! If it really worked that way, NASA would have so many moon bases they’d need to build a whole second moon just to have room for them all.

enterprise_05

Why does he think this will work?

People like this always mystify me. Why does he think he can single-handedly design the most complicated space-ship ever designed? If it was that easy why isn’t NASA doing it? Does he really think that NASA can’t afford to hire one guy? Or does he think that NASA secretly doesn’t want to build awesome spaceships?

Wait, I think I know. All the hard work has already been done.

enterprise_MrScottenterprise_TOS_Techenterprise_TNG_Tech

All he has to do is copy/paste!

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This man needs an Escort

Losing one’s virginity to an Escort By: Claude Gayle London

This man is raising money to hire an ‘escort’ to lose his virginity.

His all-or-nothing funding goal is £25,000 (about $38,000).

£25,000?!? Wow. Being a hooker in the UK must be a pretty sweet gig.

"From my perspective, sexual politics is overwhelmingly in favour of women.  In my humble opinion and in all great men's too, no women can say they have never dated or had sex regardless of how much they can claim to have been hurt in their lives.  I stand, a victim of women.  What is life without intimate love, oh dear? I will forever now have unequal relationships with women if I do have any.  No relationship will last."
Ok, I’m starting to get an idea of the problem here, but let’s press on.

The project comes with eight illustrations, and it’s a weird collection.
Commander Spock

  • There’s a couple of inspirational posters
  • an advertisement to raise handicap awareness
  • An meme-style “BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER” photograph of a naked girl playing MarioKart
  • A publicity photo of Star Trek’s Commander Spock
  • A photograph of a woman with something being poured on her face. (I think it’s honey, but it could be some other yellow fluid.)

…And the Video

This video is very confused. I get that he’s trying to be Charlie Chaplin. … but that’s about all I understand.
If he’s trying to make it look like an old-time silent, why is there both color and singing? If he’s not trying to make it look old-timey why is the color so horrible?

Honest to Internet, when I first saw the preview, the messed up colors made me think this was a white guy in black-face makeup!

But wait! There’s MORE!

Don’t miss his OTHER campaign to raise £1.5 Million (about $2¼ Million) to start a new religion based on the prophesies of everyone’s favorite 16th century nut-bag.
A new religion based on nostradamus By: Claude Gayle London
Don’t worry, he’s set up a webpage to explain it all.

See Also…

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