Shattered Glass T-Shirts

Shattered Glass

A man named Nobu Lemke has invented the most wasteful possible way to customize a t-shirt.

He starts with a dark colored T-shirt and places a piece of glass on top. Then the glass is smashed with a hammer, and bleach is sprayed between the cracks.

It’s like tie-dying, except instead of using a piece of string or a rubber band, you’re using a pane of glass!

Ok, sure it’s clever, but not all clever ideas are good ideas.

(On the other hand, it looks like this guy is going to make a fortune on this, so what do I know?)

Radical Retro T-Shirts

  TouchMeTees are changing the clothing industry, literally! These shirts change color when you touch them! The 90's are back and bright.

I know I’ve badmouthed Hypercolor shirts in the past, and yes, they are a stupid, worthless gimmick.

… But I love stupid, worthless gimmicks down to my very core. Gimmicks speak to my soul.

I’m actually really sad that these totally radical, but short-lived, early-nineties gimmicks probably aren’t going to make a comeback on Kickstarter.

No, give ME The America!

GIVE ME THE AMERICA OF THE PAST.

GIVE ME the America”. This shirt says “Give me the America”

I want you to take a moment to read that shirt out loud. Really. It’s an experiment.

“Give Me the America”

You said it in a funny accent didn’t you? Maybe you said it like a Mexican immigrant, or maybe you said it like an eastern European grandmother, but you said it in a funny voice. You can’t help it!

Give me the America!

By the way, why is that flag so ratty looking?

GiveMeUSA_02
Ok, The “Give Me The America” photo is the only photo in the project, but I notice his profile picture has this gem. (I guess this genius didn’t know how to put images in the project.)

“of the PAST.” Clearly, this is the back of the shirt and he meant it to read all together as

GIVE ME the America of the PAST.”

Have we learned nothing from “Make 7 UP YOURS“? Nobody reads the front and back of a T-shirt together!

Anything You can Do I can do Better

Sadly, it looks like this project is going to fail.

But what if you still want a dumb shirt? No worries, I’ve done my best to recreate this shirt.

Ok, I only did the front, but nobody reads the back of a shirt.

Give Me The America
(This was not a joke. But you can no longer buy the shirts. You missed ’em!)

Haiku for Dicks and T-Shirts

DickHaiku - 5 - 7- 5 and related to dick jokes. With the raised money I will produce funny shirts and stickers for you and your friends.
This man wants to raise $700 to print T-shirts with haiku on them.

Haiku about dicks.

Every Haiku he writes is about his penis.

He gives a sample of a haiku he might use :

one time, my penis
ran for local school board and
then killed a llama.

I’m going to be honest here. That haiku sucks.

But, maybe he has better ones! Let’s take a look at his twitter feed!



Kickstarters, do you really want to give this guy your address?

Anything you can do, I can do better

So, this inspired me. Maybe there’s an audience out there for Haiku printed on T-shirts? I can do that! I’ve written two of them :

Haiku T-Shirt : No rainy sidewalks, panhandle the blogosphere, beg on kickstarter haiku_buskers
(Click to buy these shirts. This is not a joke.)

Or maybe there’s only a market for haiku about dicks? I guess I can do that.
Haiku T-shirt : Haiku for your dick, it's too short.

God Can

GOD CAN: Quality Products - Made in America to Inspire The World. Its a product line made to give hope & promise on all who wear it

God in a Can

Honest to can, when I saw the name of this project I really believed it would be about hollow metal cylinders somehow relating to the almighty. I thought maybe it was some kind of inspirational novelty gift item like I’ve drawn above.

In actual fact, it’s yet another set of T-Shirts.

GOD CAN - GOD CAN - GOD CAN

Boring t-shirts.

god_can_03
After seven years of nobody wanting your crumby t-shirts and you haven’t figured out what’s going wrong?

Let me crack the code for you : Your shirts are dumb, boring, and confusing.

See Also (More T-Shirts):

FEND_teaserincognito2nd_teaserguns2uranus_teaserfriendzone_teasertshirt_roundup_teaser

Cowardly 2nd Amendment Shirts

Incognito 2nd Amendment T-Shirt

Want to show your support for the Second Amendment, but are worried about what people will think? No problem. “What you need is an Incognito 2nd Amendment shirt”!

This shirt doesn’t mention the 2nd amendment at all! The only reference to gun control is a cartoon of a pair of guns on the back. That way you can stand by your principals even if you’re too cowardly to do it while facing someone.

2nd Amendment T-Shirt for cowards.

On the front we have … The Wikipedia logo? No, it’s actually the designer, Michael Warfield’s personal logo. That’s right, he has a personal logo.

The back of the shirt celebrates every American’s fundamental constitutional right to play the hit 1995 arcade game “Area 51”.

Area51Arcade area51

So how much is Mr Warfield charging for these masterpieces? What does it cost to show your support for gun ownership without letting anyone know you support gun ownership?

$65 - You get one shirt.

Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sixty-five dollars!

For only $25 these people will sell you a t-shirt with a picture of a house-cat wielding an assault rifle. It’s got just as much to do with the second amendment, and it’s a lot cuter.

See Also :