Steampunk Jewelry

steampunk_01

I’ll grudgingly admit that this project, to make jewelry out of 1950s watch movements ‘counts’ as real steampunk, and not just just glue-some-gears-on-it opportunism.

But here’s what caught my eye :
steampunk_02

These are bracelets, with small clocks attached to them. You’ve probably heard of this invention before, but these are special : The clocks don’t work.

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We’re on God’s time Now!

CephasMeter_01

Here’s a weird one. This man has invented a new way of telling time. Apparently if you use this new clock he’s invented, you’ll be understanding time as God understands it. You know, up in heaven or His own planet, or whatever.

 Below is a part of my patent application publication.  This explains the device and how it is to be used.  I need to make a interactive app and prototype smart watch so that all believers in the world can unite, form specific request groups and concentrate on certain prayer requests while metering the actual time that is passing in the different dimensions. If nothing else this will focus, encourage and increase faith for the participants.

He goes on in this vein for pages and pages which I won’t quote here, but he never really explains why I’d want this, besides some vague references to miracles or something.

This was the best use of this new timekeeping that I could think of.

BOSS : Johnson! You’re half an hour late for the board meeting!

JOHNSON : Yes sir, but that’s only 5 milliseconds to God!

Six Thousand Years?

Now, I had a suspicion what the point of this was, so I worked out the math and low and behold, a single day for God works out to just shy of a thousand years for us. That makes the six “days” of Genesis add up to “Less than six-thousand years”. And I thought “Oh, he’s a Young Earth Creationist” trying to somehow make the math work out. But then I remembered that even the most extreme fundamentalist young-earthers believe that there’s thousands of years of human history after the events of Genesis. So maybe the the six thousand years is just a coincidence?

I tried working it the other way, too. Maybe the universe is 6000 years old in God time. What does that work out to in human time? About two billion years. Less than half the age of the Earth (never mind the universe.)

Point is, I can’t make heads or tails of this insanity. But there’s a lot of it! This Kickstarter weighs in at 1800 words of crazy.

CephasMeter_03

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Apple Watch’s Crown.

What makes the Apple Watch unique? What feature does it have that all the other smart watches on the market lack?

A Crown

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No, not that crown! This crown!

Apple watch crown - Every King Needs A Crown

It’s a metal bumper case for your Apple Watch. You know in case you … drop it … somehow?

We designed the apple watch to give consumers a bit more flexibility after they've purchased they're Apple Watch. we would like the entry level consumers of the Apple Watch Sport to add the crown to they're device and give it a more premium look and feel.
Translation : “Didn’t pay $18,000 for the ‘Edition’ Apple Watch? This grainy 3d-printed bumper case is just as good!”

(Oddly enough, this same text appears elsewhere in their Kickstarter page without the spelling errors.)

Do you think these clowns even realize that a watch “crown” is the little knob on the end of the winding stem?

They seem to be offering these in every material supported by Shapeways.com 3d printing service. So order a grainy metal case for your watch today!

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