Are you looking for a way to piss off your homeowner’s society? Or, more likely, your neighbors at the trailer park?
This might be the perfect solution!
Just cover your outside spigot with a novelty breast!
Well, that’s terrifying.
Very, Very Terrifying.
They actually tried this project twice. Let’s see how they improved it.
You sleep! I will be vigilant!
You sleep! I shall keep the darkness at bay for as long as I am able!
You sleep! The nightmare-spawn and its dark minions will not find us here!
Grab your weapon, young one! We shall face the monsters together!
What an interesting thought. Did you actually try that?
Because it looks to me that if I do anything other than hold my hand extended in front of me like I’m a deranged Jedi Knight, I won’t be able to see where I’m going. Certainly I wouldn’t be able to hold a tool in my right hand, and still expect to see what I’m doing! (‘s OK, though. I’m lefty.)
No … I don’t think so.
I don’t know what I expected.
It also came with a little note saying that they would refund all our money because it was a joke project and we weren’t supposed to actually back it!! (Now you tell me!)
I’m impressed. Think of all the joke projects on Kickstarter, how many of them would be classy enough to refund the money and finish the project?
They also sleeved the cards which is a nice touch.
I guess they made this joke project just to practice setting up a Kickstarter project, and were as surprised as anyone when suckers like me actually gave them money. (Someone teach them about “Draft” mode!)
Anyway, their other project, their “real” project, is live and only has a couple of days left. It’s a sci-fi board game for 3-6 players.
If board games are your thing, I recomend checking it out. These people have already proven themselves to be good citizens of Kickstarter by following through professionally, even on their joke project.
Imagine you had never learned to play an instrument. Would your lack of training or experience give you an “open mind” that made you uniquely qualified to give violin lessons?
Imagine you had never seen an episode of Star Trek, but you’d seen a few clips once during an advertisement. Would you go to a convention full of Star Trek nerds and say “I think that tall guy with the pointy ears is secretly an agent for the bad guys, who I’ve named ‘Dark Centaurs’ because Alpha Centauri might be where they come from.”
Imagine you were arrested, and your lawyer told you he had never read any law books, but he’d come up with his own theory on how the law probably works?
Absurd, right? But! there is a field where people do feel confident making up wild-ass theories off the top of their head without actually learning what anyone else has done in that field. Physics.
This man saw a television special about gravity. And decided he wanted to do important work in this field.
Instead of the very hard research, study, and mathematics that would require, he just made stuff up based entirely on “pop science” sources like TV documentaries. Suffice it to say his “theories” are high-school level insights and misunderstandings dressed up in a bunch of made up terminology. The “problems” he thinks he’s solving were resolved almost a century ago, but he’s not educated enough to understand the solutions.
Of course, no effort has been made to test his theories.
This man is even further from reality. “Quadrature ” is the word for any one of several out-of-date methods for determining the area under a curve. It’s what the ancient Greeks had instead of calculus.
I don’t think this man knows that, though. Apparently Quadrature is the God of the old testimate, but it’s also a new form of physics that will bring about world peace.
Of course, no effort has been made to test his theories.
Interesting thing, BOTH of these projects seem to think that modern physics are “proved” to be wrong because speed is measured as a factor of time, and special relativity tells us that time is not constant. Therefore how can the Speed of Light possibly be constant? Checkmate, scientists!
If these guys were better educated, they’d know that they are not the first person to think of this. Einstein worked this out before he even published his theories back in 1905. Furthermore, since then the solutions he figured out are actually well tested.
These people have always existed. Ask any physics professor, they’ll tell you that they get hundreds of “manuscripts” from people who are uneducated and have just the right kind of brain problem to think that doesn’t matter. I don’t know why Physics attracts these people so much, but it’s kind of sad that instead of pestering some hapless professor, nowadays they make a fool of themselves in public
Silver underwear to protect your genitals from Cell-phone radiation.
I’m not going to question the premise. Just for today, let’s pretend that “cell-phone radiation” is every bit as scary as it sounds, and that it hasn’t been proved safe hundreds of times. In fact, let’s pretend that cancer rates have gone up since cell-phones became popular. (they haven’t.) Let’s pretend that these underpants contain enough silver to block a phone signal. And finally, let’s be generous and even pretend that the demonstration in their video isn’t blatantly faked.
Us menfolk keep our genitals in a dangly sack between our legs. Perhaps the project-creators should have figured out where women keep theirs.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again : Never trust anyone who describes themselves as an “Inventor”.
Real inventors describe themselves as “engineers”, “mechanics”, “chemists”, or “game designers”. Real inventors are proud of being experts in some field, and will tell you about it. People who just call themselves an “inventor” aren’t experts at anything, but they still want the cachet that goes with having a cool job description.
This video is a treat. Most of the video features him sitting at a desk with his new invention sealed in a cardboard box.
Spoilers : He never opens the box.
This is classic Kickstarter “Inventor” syndrome.
That last one is great. He honestly thinks we care about his patent? It’s just a boring government document. He might as well offer us a copy of his voter registration form. But that’s how Kickstarter “Inventors” think. They believe that a patent is a mystical document, and if they can only “achieve” one, they’ll be on easy street.
(Never mind that boardgames are typically not patented.)
Remember, this is not just a boardgame anymore, this is an interactive, interfacing game system. Interfacing your imagination into the board!
I really do recommend watching the video, it’s full of gems like this. Maybe it’ll get you excited about owning an autographed copy of his patent document.
Meat gum. Now your breath can have the fresh smell of sausage all day long!
Mmmn… Delicious. All day I can just sit there and suck the meat flavor out of a wad of chewing gum. This is what my life has been missing.
I didn’t edit this. This is the entire project description.
This part is my favorite : “our production with tools and so on“. That should just be the description of every Kickstarter ever.
I was thinking about backing this one. Not because I particularly want to chew on meat flavored gum, but because I thought it’d be funny to review it for this blog. Then I noticed this :
Again, I didn’t edit this, that’s how he posted it. Blank. I guess that means there’s no reward. You don’t even get the gum.
Notice that he made it a limited reward tier. He wouldn’t want to run out of nothing and then be stuck giving some backers something. He was really worried that too many people would back this project.
It never ceases to amaze me that people are idiotic enough to honestly expect this crap to work.