Lifestyle Design Journal

Lifestyle Design Journal -  MUST WATCH MOTIVATIONAL VIDEO!!! PRODUCT INSPIRED BY JIM ROHN, TONY ROBBINS AND LES BROWN!

The “Lifestyle Design Journal” appears to just be a diary with writing prompts. Boring. But I don’t want to talk about the product.

Also, The project was mysteriously canceled after reaching its funding goal. That’s weird, but I don’t want to talk about that either.

I want to talk about this video.


This is so generic it feels like it’s a perfect parody of all those tech startup promo videos we see on Kickstarter and elsewhere. Like all these videos, it’s a festival of stock-footage that serves as a self-congratulatory ode to how awesome upper-middle-class white men are.

Let’s look at the important elements that are required for any start up company’s video :

☑ Creator/Founder sitting in front of wood panels, gesturing with his hands and asking rhetorical questions
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☑️ White dude writing inspirational nonsense on a piece of glass.
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☑️ A specific example shaming people who don’t use the product.
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☑️ White dudes being “creative”

LDJ_Vid_6 LDJ_Vid_5

☑️ Montage of stock footage illustrating “success”

LDJ_Vid_7 LDJ_Vid_10
LDJ_Vid_9 LDJ_Vid_8

☑️ Only show non-whites doing weird “cultural” things.

LDJ_Vid_4 LDJ_Vid_13
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☑️ Look! We designed our product on a computer!
LDJ_Vid_11

☑️ Tropical Sunset
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The only thing they forgot to include was a shot of a couple of bearded dudes in a workshop wearing old-fashioned overalls, indicating that their product is made with old-world craftsmanship.

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Absurd Survivalist Fire Starters

Let’s be honest. “Survivalist Fire Starters” are just toys.

If you really did find yourself out in the woods in danger of freezing to death, you’d probably be a lot happier with a BIC lighter you got at the drug store for two bucks than some crazy gadget you got off Kickstarter for $25 + shipping.

fire_sparky

This device is powered by 2 AAA batteries and will start a fire if you shove it into a large piece of steel wool. This would be perfect for anyone stranded in a forest where steel wool grows naturally, somehow!

… Actually, even in the forest of steel sheep, it wouldn’t really be ideal. A Bic in a plastic bag will easily beat it at both reliability and weight, and if you absolutely have to start a fire with batteries and steel wool, you could achieve the same effect by taking the bulb out of your flashlight and shoving some steel wool into the socket.

fire_sparx
Fire pistons are fun science demonstrations, but they’re probably the most annoying way to start a fire known to man.

Any fire piston small enough to carry and operate with your bare hands will only generate a minuscule amount of fire. You need to prep it with a super-flammable material like powered magnesium or “char cloth” to capture a tiny ember barely big enough to see with the naked eye. It’ll take you five minutes to carefully nurse that ember to a fire the size of the flame a lighter would just give you automatically!
fire_tinyspark Oh look! He’s created a fire! Look at it burn!
If I was freezing to death out in the woods, and had just created this pin-prick of fire, I’d sure feel proud of myself for not wimping out and bringing a lighter.

fire_solar
Here’s another one that belongs in the classroom, not the survival kit.
This was actually removed from kickstarter, not because it’s an absurd product, but because it’s a reselling scam. You can pick these up on eBay for about $7 each. (Cheaper in bulk!)
In ideal, sunny conditions, you could light a cigarette with these, but can you imagine using it as a “Great survival tool”?

There you are, stranded on a mountaintop. You spent the daylight hours hiking back into civilization or hunting for food, and now the sun is setting so you need a fire to cook your dinner and avoid freezing to death in your sleep. You reach into your survival kit and pull out … this. Don’t you feel clever?

Conclusion

I really can’t think of a situation, from a plane-crash in The Alps, to being the last survivor of the Zombocalypse, where I would prefer to have one of these crazy tools instead of an ordinary lighter, but if you absolutely must stock your survival kit with a non-standard fire starter, just get yourself an ordinary ferro rod. They’re dirt cheap and work perfectly fine.

Just be sure to also pack a lighter or some waterproof matches for when you get tired of playing cave-man.

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ManBox – A Box for Men.

manbox_original

If you’re a man, and you need a place to put your things, it might occur to you that a large, nicely made wooden box would be the way to go.

But wait! If people see you putting things into a nicely made wooden chest, they might assume that it’s a hope chest, and from that, of course, it follows that you are living in hope of soon marrying a man. (hence the name.)

Oh what shame and disgrace! All because you needed a convenient storage container for your various manly items.

 A selection of beautiful, solid oak wood boxes at amazing prices, designed to be innovative, fun and practical.

Ah, finally! A box made just for men. At long last, I can put my things into a box without any risk to my masculinity and heterosexuality.

…, uh. Unless “ManBox” turns out to be gay slang for something, which seems plausible but I’m not going to Google it.

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Food bath!

I’ve already covered a woman who wants to bath in gumballs, but but what about other, messier, forms of food?

 Mozzarella Stick Bath  by Ghostus Coyote That's right! I will take a bath in mozzarella sticks to fulfill a lifelong dream as well as help pay for college! Sandy, UT Film & Video  That's right! I will take a bath in mozzarella sticks to fulfill a lifelong dream as well as help pay for college!

That's right! An idea so crazy, it just might work! Take a bath in MOZZARELLA STICKS to raise funds for this years fall and next year spring semester at Snow College. The REAL goal is $8,000 to $10,000 but I did not want people to feel like it would take all that much to get this to happen. Anyway, the plan is simple:
I don’t understand how this is supposed to work. It’s like he looked at a charity event, and not understanding why people give to charity, decided that the magic formula was “Do something stupid == free money”. Cargo-cult fund-raising.

You don’t get free money just to be wacky. Maybe if you were a popular performer you could make it work, but then people would be paying you for the performance, not just for the … mozzerella sticks.

 I am keeping it a secret, calling it my "sexy plan"

Wow, ok. Let’s move on to the next one.

 Spaghetti Bath Double Dare  by Guido "Sauce Boss" Pietto Los Angeles, CA Events  I need some help with a sticky situation. My friends double dared me to take a full-sized bath in delicious spaghetti.

I can’t tell how much of an it is an act (probably all of it), but this guy couldn’t be more of an italian-american stereotype.

Anyway, Harry and Travis double dared me to bathe in a tub full of spaghetti. If you knew me better, you'd know I never turn down a double dare, so this is gonna happen! My family heritage is on the line here.
Well, at least this guy’s honest about his motives. Though, personally, I would have held out of the double dog dare.

Go BIG or go home!  Sincerely,  The Sauce Boss
Well, you can’t argue with math.

Risks and challenges  Plumbing. I'm not sure bathtubs can handle this much spaghetti. I don't have a choice, so I will probably have to redo the plumbing in my building.
Wait. What? No!

Why would the spaghetti go in the plumbing?!? Put the stopper in! You can’t wash it down the drain!

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Dolphins With Hats

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I don’t know what “Revamping Comedy” is, but I like sketch comedy. So I’m looking forward to this one.

The Video

As most people know, the most important part of a Kickstarter pitch is the video. It’s the one thing people look at before they decide if your stupid project is worth their time. I know some creators have complained that making a compelling video is a difficult or expensive hurdle for someone whose talents lay in different areas, but, if you’re a sketch comedy troupe then you and Kickstarter should be a match made in heaven!

Let’s watch the video and see what comedy delights they have in store for us!

Haha, I’m just kidding! The video is worthless trash. It’s just stock photos. Why didn’t they film a comedy sketch for their sketch comedy Kickstarter? Because they’re idiots! These alleged comedians didn’t think to put a single joke in their project pitch!

The Troupe

Tom, Brendan (Birch), Jordan (Ging), Justin, and James are all eager to make this passion for comedy come to life. It is a stepping stone in our ventures to become SNL Cast members. We all have experience in the production business. Jordan also happens to be a musical mastermind while Tom has experience in performing comedy as well as comedy writing. We have the talent to entertain you all!

Comedy writing? That sure will come in handy if you ever have to convince strangers to put down up-front money on your comedy show!

The Social Media

This is actually part of a multi-pronged social media effort to get themselves an audition on SNL. So maybe they’re proceeding as planned, even without Kickstarter backers?
 @DWHShow hasn't tweeted yet.

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Con Pooling

 Find Your Self a Car Pool "Lane Buddy" as Service Reduce your daily commute by being in HOV lane all you need is Lane Buddy.

Carpool lanes (aka “HOV Lanes”) are a last-ditch effort to encourage people to save fuel. Ok, you won’t use public transit, you won’t buy a smaller car, you won’t move to live near where you work, could you at least carpool?

Nope! Finding a friend who also needs to go into the city would be effort, and we won’t be tricked into spending even the smallest amount of effort making the world a better place!

Here’s how we beat the system, outsmart highway planners, and maximize our fuel consumption and pollution :

Lane Buddy is a service just like renting any service. You will pay someone to join you for your daily or one time commute and allow usage of HOV lane.  The Independent Contractor (Your Lane Buddy) will get paid as a contractor weekly and you will save time (which is money) to reach your destination faster while riding in HOV lane.

The Man wants us to save fuel by carrying a passenger that needs to go to the same place as us! We’ll show them! We’ll spend money to find someone who doesn’t need to go where we’re going! Money, time, and gasoline will be wasted, but at least we hold our head up high and be proud that we haven’t helped the environment or the highway department in any way at all.

lane_buddy_03
Except that won’t work. Nobody drives out of the big city during rush hour. Everybody drives in. So these “Ride Buddies” will either have to take a bus back home, or hang around in the city for eight hours, until the end of the work day.

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YOU SLEEP!

mr_eyes_01

Well, that’s terrifying.

 a new designed . Mr Eyes  is bright a pair of happy eyes that will make your children smile. .  It is a pillow that light up with the push of a button and has a second button with a pre recorded message that says "You sleep! I will watch." Very, Very Terrifying.

They actually tried this project twice. Let’s see how they improved it.

Revised Version :

It is a pillow that light up with the push of a button and has a second button with a pre recorded message that says "You sleep!I will protect you!" Or it also has the ability to be recorded so parents can record their own message. .

You sleep! I will be vigilant!

You sleep! I shall keep the darkness at bay for as long as I am able!

You sleep! The nightmare-spawn and its dark minions will not find us here!

Grab your weapon, young one! We shall face the monsters together!

eyes_04


This project kindly suggested by @hannah__forbes

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