Gold Coins!

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Gold coins! Well, at least it’s not another Challenge Coin.

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I’m going to be honest with you. This coin design sucks. Even the worst of the Brony coins was better than this!

Trust

Kickstarter is all about trust. Because Kickstarter is not your normal store, it’s vital that as a backer, you trust the person running the project. For something as expensive as gold, you’re going to want a lot of trust!

Project creator Larry Murk hasn’t given us a website, or even a Facebook link, but he has created two projects in the past.

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He made a god damn potato salad project?!?

Wow, this guy sounds like a real winner. Somebody I’d really like to trust with well over a thousand dollars of my money.

What’s it cost?

Speaking of money, how much is he charging for this ugly coin?

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$2,000, That’s a lot of money.

And how much do real gold venders charge?

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I guess the extra $700+ goes to that amazing design that he clearly worked for at least four minutes on?


This article was kindly suggested by reader James K.

What’s a MotiPen?

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Moti Pen! No video, so let’s read the description.

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Ok, I’m interested, but I still want to know more.

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So, you’re not going to tell us, are you?

The picture looks pretty high-tech, but that’s no help, because that’s actually a picture of the “LiveScribe Smart Pen“.

Well, OK. What do I get if I back the project, I get the pen, right?

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Look, I’ve been to Australia, I know they don’t charge that much for postcards.


This post was kindly suggested by reader James K.

Nebulon Prime

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Here’s a new board game! It features a re-configurable board consisting of six triangle-shaped pieces!

… And that’s all I know about it.

…even though I watched the entire video, and read the entire project page.

Well, That’s not quite true. I do know how much it costs :
$250

Oh, wait. That’s just for the board. How much for the whole game?

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This project was helpfully suggested by reader Jez G.

Totally Messed Up

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This was a project to fund the printing of a graphic novel. That’s pretty straight forward. Lot’s of those on Kickstarter.

As is pretty common, this project suffered some serious delays. They were supposed to finish shipping in February 2013, but so far as I can tell they haven’t done it yet.

Pretty soon, a backer started asking the obvious question :
Is shipping almost completed?

Unfortunately, it looks like creator Haru Ruben made the elementary mistake of telling backers what they wanted to hear, instead of the truth.

Whenever someone would ask about the ship date, Haru would say, or at least strongly imply, that it’d be shipping out this week.

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This is a trick that only works once, and Haru Ruben used it constantly.

Backer Brett Trout kept asking, not unreasonably, where the books were and how soon until they were shipped. And pointing out, again not unreasonably, that all of Haru’s statements about release dates were … questionable, at best.

(I want to stress, that backer Brett Trout’s posts were persistent, but polite through out this entire deal.)

So what does the project creator do?

Banned!
Haha! That’s right he “bans” him from the project. Telling him that instead of a book, he’ll simply get a refund.

So, of course, Brett Trout asks the obvious question :

Where's my money.

And how did the project creator react?

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Like a dick.

Fun With Lawsuits

The comment page is very long, and reads like a journal documenting the artist’s descent into incoherent paranoia.

Eventually, Even though Brett Trout does not appear to have done anything more threatening than ask for ether the book he was promised or his money back, artist Haru Ruben decides that Trout is “dangerous” and “mentally ill”.

Why did Haru think Trout was mentally ill?

Because He dressed as Arthur Dent for Halloween.
I’m not even kidding.
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(That link goes here.)

Then, because Trout is a lawyer, Ruben actually files a complaint with the Bar Association!

Lawsuit #1

Since filing a false complaint with the Bar Association is a serious form of Libel, Trout does exactly what you would expect a lawyer to do. He sues.

When you sue someone, it’s normal to hire a “process server”. That’s a person that will find the defendant’s home, and personally deliver the paperwork to them. This prevents them from claiming the papers were “lost in the mail”.

Here’s the hilarious part : Apparently Haru Ruben mistook the process server for some sort of contract killer.
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Lawsuit #2

Believing that he was being pursued by contract killers under the employ of a crazy person with a towel, Haru Ruben decided to take action!
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This move apparently cost him $80,000 and, of course, delayed the project even longer. (But hey, they over waited a year, they can keep waiting!)

So what did Haru Ruben do? He sued back! To the tune of $83,000 of “real damages” plus legal expenses!

One of the pieces of evidence he claims he’s going to present is that he’s found the blogs 100 lawyers who did not dress as Arthur Dent for Halloween! I’m still not joking about that!

Haru is also going to present evidence that Trout’s own book on “Cyber Law” used “disturbing images of sexualized violence.”. By which he means, the cover was a picture of Lady Justice, dressed like Trinity from The Matrix. (It’s actually pretty tame. Lady Justice is often portrayed as having one of her breasts exposed. Justice is sexy.)

Predictably, he’s also going to present evidence that he’s found 100 lawyers who have not published a book on cyber justice featuring Lady Justice dressed as Trinity.

So where are we now?

The last blog update on the project was a year ago. Predictably, backers have been asking for an update.

Don’t worry. He’s promised to post one after the second of October.

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True to form, I’m writing this on the 11th, and still no blog post.

Update : It’s now the 21st. Still no blog post.

Money Gun

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This guy was going to manufacture and sell money guns!

I’m allowed to sometimes be sad that a Kickfailure, even a completely ridiculous one, is going to be a failure. And this is one of those times.

This would be a been a great worthless project.

What is a money gun, you ask?

That is a money gun!

That is a fun idea. … but like a lot of fun ideas, I can’t actually think of a situation where I’d really need to use it.

The Money Gun is a fully functional device that can be used for promotions or by people who are just looking to add that extra "wow" factor to their outings. You can use it to attract people to your booth at a convention, use it to promote the start of a race, or use it to add an amazing element to a party.

Man, I am clearly going to the wrong conventions, races, and parties.

Cat Erotica. Catrotica.

  I want to Create a 2015 calendar of Cat Erotica.

This man wants to make calendar of “cat erotica” and he didn’t once use the pun “Kitty Porn”. According to his facebook, he’s doing this because a gypsy fortune teller told him to. I guess they have gypsies in Montana?

Who doesn't love a cat photo?   Now add the excitement of a tastefully placed cat teat in that photo and you got yourself some Cat Erotica.

How titillating.

A copy of this sexy calendar will set you back $25, but if that’s too rich for your blood, you can get your named tattooed on the photographer for only $10.

I’m not sure what that has to do with the project, or why you would want that, but hey, ten dollars is a bargain!

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Fun fact : , To get 10,000 names tattooed on your flesh between September 19th, and the end of December, you’d need to get 625 names per week.

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He’s off to a great start!