Dolphins With Hats

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I don’t know what “Revamping Comedy” is, but I like sketch comedy. So I’m looking forward to this one.

The Video

As most people know, the most important part of a Kickstarter pitch is the video. It’s the one thing people look at before they decide if your stupid project is worth their time. I know some creators have complained that making a compelling video is a difficult or expensive hurdle for someone whose talents lay in different areas, but, if you’re a sketch comedy troupe then you and Kickstarter should be a match made in heaven!

Let’s watch the video and see what comedy delights they have in store for us!

Haha, I’m just kidding! The video is worthless trash. It’s just stock photos. Why didn’t they film a comedy sketch for their sketch comedy Kickstarter? Because they’re idiots! These alleged comedians didn’t think to put a single joke in their project pitch!

The Troupe

Tom, Brendan (Birch), Jordan (Ging), Justin, and James are all eager to make this passion for comedy come to life. It is a stepping stone in our ventures to become SNL Cast members. We all have experience in the production business. Jordan also happens to be a musical mastermind while Tom has experience in performing comedy as well as comedy writing. We have the talent to entertain you all!

Comedy writing? That sure will come in handy if you ever have to convince strangers to put down up-front money on your comedy show!

The Social Media

This is actually part of a multi-pronged social media effort to get themselves an audition on SNL. So maybe they’re proceeding as planned, even without Kickstarter backers?
 @DWHShow hasn't tweeted yet.

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Con Pooling

 Find Your Self a Car Pool "Lane Buddy" as Service Reduce your daily commute by being in HOV lane all you need is Lane Buddy.

Carpool lanes (aka “HOV Lanes”) are a last-ditch effort to encourage people to save fuel. Ok, you won’t use public transit, you won’t buy a smaller car, you won’t move to live near where you work, could you at least carpool?

Nope! Finding a friend who also needs to go into the city would be effort, and we won’t be tricked into spending even the smallest amount of effort making the world a better place!

Here’s how we beat the system, outsmart highway planners, and maximize our fuel consumption and pollution :

Lane Buddy is a service just like renting any service. You will pay someone to join you for your daily or one time commute and allow usage of HOV lane.  The Independent Contractor (Your Lane Buddy) will get paid as a contractor weekly and you will save time (which is money) to reach your destination faster while riding in HOV lane.

The Man wants us to save fuel by carrying a passenger that needs to go to the same place as us! We’ll show them! We’ll spend money to find someone who doesn’t need to go where we’re going! Money, time, and gasoline will be wasted, but at least we hold our head up high and be proud that we haven’t helped the environment or the highway department in any way at all.

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Except that won’t work. Nobody drives out of the big city during rush hour. Everybody drives in. So these “Ride Buddies” will either have to take a bus back home, or hang around in the city for eight hours, until the end of the work day.

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YOU SLEEP!

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Well, that’s terrifying.

 a new designed . Mr Eyes  is bright a pair of happy eyes that will make your children smile. .  It is a pillow that light up with the push of a button and has a second button with a pre recorded message that says "You sleep! I will watch." Very, Very Terrifying.

They actually tried this project twice. Let’s see how they improved it.

Revised Version :

It is a pillow that light up with the push of a button and has a second button with a pre recorded message that says "You sleep!I will protect you!" Or it also has the ability to be recorded so parents can record their own message. .

You sleep! I will be vigilant!

You sleep! I shall keep the darkness at bay for as long as I am able!

You sleep! The nightmare-spawn and its dark minions will not find us here!

Grab your weapon, young one! We shall face the monsters together!

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This project kindly suggested by @hannah__forbes

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You are not Ironman

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Ever wanted to free your hands from that bulky flashlight! Well now you can! With lumiglove you can do anything while your lighting the way! It's using a light while you can still use your hands. Now it may look like something out of Iron Man but I can assure you its not

What an interesting thought. Did you actually try that?

Because it looks to me that if I do anything other than hold my hand extended in front of me like I’m a deranged Jedi Knight, I won’t be able to see where I’m going. Certainly I wouldn’t be able to hold a tool in my right hand, and still expect to see what I’m doing! (‘s OK, though. I’m lefty.)

Now it may look like something out of Iron Man but I can assure you its not (maybe even cooler).
No … I don’t think so.

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I bought One : Literally Five Cards

#NoMoreAwk

Here’s what they sent:

Literally Five Cards.

I don’t know what I expected.

But that’s not all!

It also came with a little note saying that they would refund all our money because it was a joke project and we weren’t supposed to actually back it!! (Now you tell me!)

I’m impressed. Think of all the joke projects on Kickstarter, how many of them would be classy enough to refund the money and finish the project?

They also sleeved the cards which is a nice touch.

Practice?

I guess they made this joke project just to practice setting up a Kickstarter project, and were as surprised as anyone when suckers like me actually gave them money. (Someone teach them about “Draft” mode!)

Anyway, their other project, their “real” project, is live and only has a couple of days left. It’s a sci-fi board game for 3-6 players.


If board games are your thing, I recomend checking it out. These people have already proven themselves to be good citizens of Kickstarter by following through professionally, even on their joke project.

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Physics Crazies

Imagine you had never learned to play an instrument. Would your lack of training or experience give you an “open mind” that made you uniquely qualified to give violin lessons?

Imagine you had never seen an episode of Star Trek, but you’d seen a few clips once during an advertisement. Would you go to a convention full of Star Trek nerds and say “I think that tall guy with the pointy ears is secretly an agent for the bad guys, who I’ve named ‘Dark Centaurs’ because Alpha Centauri might be where they come from.”

Imagine you were arrested, and your lawyer told you he had never read any law books, but he’d come up with his own theory on how the law probably works?

Absurd, right? But! there is a field where people do feel confident making up wild-ass theories off the top of their head without actually learning what anyone else has done in that field. Physics.

We Fight Gravity

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This man saw a television special about gravity. And decided he wanted to do important work in this field.
Instead of the very hard research, study, and mathematics that would require, he just made stuff up based entirely on “pop science” sources like TV documentaries. Suffice it to say his “theories” are high-school level insights and misunderstandings dressed up in a bunch of made up terminology. The “problems” he thinks he’s solving were resolved almost a century ago, but he’s not educated enough to understand the solutions.
Of course, no effort has been made to test his theories.

BLINK: The Quadrature Theory of Everything!

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This man is even further from reality. “Quadrature ” is the word for any one of several out-of-date methods for determining the area under a curve. It’s what the ancient Greeks had instead of calculus.
I don’t think this man knows that, though. Apparently Quadrature is the God of the old testimate, but it’s also a new form of physics that will bring about world peace.
Of course, no effort has been made to test his theories.

Common Ground

Interesting thing, BOTH of these projects seem to think that modern physics are “proved” to be wrong because speed is measured as a factor of time, and special relativity tells us that time is not constant. Therefore how can the Speed of Light possibly be constant? Checkmate, scientists!

If these guys were better educated, they’d know that they are not the first person to think of this. Einstein worked this out before he even published his theories back in 1905. Furthermore, since then the solutions he figured out are actually well tested.

Conclusion

These people have always existed. Ask any physics professor, they’ll tell you that they get hundreds of “manuscripts” from people who are uneducated and have just the right kind of brain problem to think that doesn’t matter. I don’t know why Physics attracts these people so much, but it’s kind of sad that instead of pestering some hapless professor, nowadays they make a fool of themselves in public

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Precious Metals for your Precious Bits

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Silver underwear to protect your genitals from Cell-phone radiation.

I’m not going to question the premise. Just for today, let’s pretend that “cell-phone radiation” is every bit as scary as it sounds, and that it hasn’t been proved safe hundreds of times. In fact, let’s pretend that cancer rates have gone up since cell-phones became popular. (they haven’t.) Let’s pretend that these underpants contain enough silver to block a phone signal. And finally, let’s be generous and even pretend that the demonstration in their video isn’t blatantly faked.

Here’s what I want to talk about :

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Us menfolk keep our genitals in a dangly sack between our legs. Perhaps the project-creators should have figured out where women keep theirs.

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