Digital Ditties for Doggies.

petPhone_01
Yes! Finally!

Is your cat or dog stressed out? Either by loud noises, or just by the crushing ennui of having the instincts of a predator in a comfy suburban home? No problem! Play that domesticated beast some soothing tunes!

petPhone_03

Oh, good point. If my cat tuned the stereo to the Country station, I’d probably have him put down.

He’s going to need his own 4gb mp3 player!

For the, admittedly quite reasonable, price of $98, you can get fluffy his own mp3 player that he (or his owner) can load up with the mp3s that he likes. Hours of non-stop doggy music, without bothering his human owners!

petPhone_pooch
Rock on, pooch! Rock on.

Friday Quickies.

I used to Like Kickstarter

*Sigh*. Ever since Kickstarter stopped screening their projects this is just getting too easy. Kickstarter is now just as bad as IndieGoGo. There’s more dumb projects than real projects!
 Cat Capes!  by Amy  We want to make capes for our 3 cats. We're convinced that they're constantly jumping off of furniture in an attempt to fly.
Really? Maybe this is a joke project, but I have a terrible feeling this person really hopes to get the money.

Either way, isn’t it great that it’s now allowed on Kickstarter?!?

There’s even Free Energy Scams!


These fools and con-artists were once forced to use IndieGoGo. Not any more! Now they can use Kickstarter just like legitimate projects!

Punctuation is important


They really need a comma between “on” and “candy”.

It’s funny, because it’s a joke from a TV Show!

tension sheet
It was funny on Red Dwarf. It’s not funny when you do it.

Kickstarter has stopped enforcing their rules.


This person clearly has no idea how game controllers even work, so how did he make the prototype that kickstarter absolutely requires for all electronic gadgets? Oh, that’s right. He didn’t. And Kickstarter doesn’t care anymore.

We’ve got those already

 by Christopher Phillip Tucker  Trying to create a album full of repeating lyrics with great beats
Those are called “Songs”.

Is this racist?


Is this racist? Not the glow-in-the-dark Tee-Pees, because that’s a real part of our nation’s glow-in-the-dark history. I mean calling them “injian tee-pees”.

Snap Sporks

snapSpork

Snap … Sporks?

Basically this idea will allow you to: A) Wear a snap-on bracelet legitimately(ish) B) Eat, Rinse, Repeat :)

Oh. Of course. Next time I’m at an event, and need to eat something with a fork or spoon, I’ll just take the flexible band off my wrist and stick it in my food!

Snap bracelets, popular in the early 90s, and coming back into fashion now, are metal springs that wrap around your wrist, but can also be straightened into a roughly straight shape. And then, here’s the magic part, you apply just a liiiitle bit of pressure to them, and they SNAP! back into a curved spring.

Perfect for something I’m jabbing into my salad.

Anyway, when the meal is over, I’ll just take that spork, dripping with spaghetti sauce or salad dressing or whatever, and wrap it around my wrist.

The “No Touch” pen

The No Touch Pen ®, The Original Germ Defense Pen® -- Kicktraq Mini

The “No Touch” pen. With this amazing new invention, you don’t have to push the buttons on an ATM with your fingers, exposing yourself to germs!

Ok, we’ve seen this sort of thing here before, but it’s not a horrible idea.

They’ve got a photograph, but I won’t bore you with it. It’s a silver tube with a black rubber thing on the end.

Basically, what they’ve done here is take an ordinary phone/tablet stylus, the kind Amazon will sell you for pocket change, and written their name on it.

Not really an “invention” if you ask me, but at least it’ll be cheap, right? Right?

notouch_twentybucks_sameasintown
Ha ha! Nope.

Copycats are the worst.

ps_copyca_0

Yes! I’m aware of the potato salad project. STOP EMAILING ME ABOUT IT!

Seriously, long-time readers will know that these kinds of joke projects are nothing new. [1][2][3] They’re not even particularly creative. Just pick any random thing. Ask for money, and pretend that it’s adorable that you’re a grown man asking for lunch money.

I refuse to waste braincells researching how this one has managed to “go viral” and become wildly popular. However, now that it has we can count on an endless cavalcade of copy-cats.

I want to stress that these are not all the copy-cats. They’re not even all the ones I could find. Not even close. I just stopped when I got bored of taking screenshots.

(No clickable links because copycats are terrible.)


ps_copycat_ice_Cream2ps_copycat_chickparm

ps_copycat_mac_saladps_copycat_bed

ps_copycat_mashedps_copycat_pizza

ps_copycat_juiceps_copycat_burger2

ps_copycat_burgerps_copycat_ice_cream
ps_copycat_four

ps_copycat_spring_rollsps_copycat_rice

ps_copycat_milkshakeps_copycat_mac

I’ll bet Kickstarter is really feeling good about their recent decision to stop pre-screening projects before they go live!

Pegasus

Pegasus_01

See that diagram? Do you understand it?

What if the creator berated you for a while? Would you understand it then?

Pegasus is a new abstract strategy game that combines the gaming experience of Checkers (Draughts) , Othello (Reversi) and Chess.

He describes the rules, but I found it hard to follow, and I found it really hard to visualize how the game would play between two real players.

Other people had the same concern, and that touched off a 109 post back-and-forth flame war between the project creator and his own backers!

It started innocently enough :
Pegasus_03
A couple of posters also noted that the amount of money he was asking ($300,000) was way out of line with other board game projects, not to mention the fact that he wanted $100 for a single copy of the game.
Pegasus_04

Oh nice. Sarcasm and attitude. A few more people complained that $100 for a board game seems a little high, and he just berated them with multiple very long posts about how his prices are reasonable and that we’re all ignorant for thinking otherwise.

Then a woman named Torii, who works in the manufacturing business, did some rather in-depth math on how much it should cost to manufacture these things. Our friendly project creator had this to say :

Pegasus_06
Ok, I don’t actually know what he said, because it was deemed too offensive for Kickstarter. However, based on how other commenters reacted, I’m pretty sure it had to do with her female anatomy. Classy.

When another commenter called him out on that distinct lack of class, he responded with
Pegasus_06
*Sigh* I have got to get quicker at taking screenshots. This was probably hilarious.

When being crude and abusive didn’t gain him any new customers, he switched tactics and tried to play the victim!
Pegasus_07
Pegasus_08

As more and more people accuse the project creator of both over-pricing and not doing his research, he gets more and more defensive. I think this line is nicely Representative. :
Pegasus_chess

If he’d researched the board-game industry he’d know that high-level chess players actually practice with Tournament Sets. You can pick those up for under twenty bucks.

Besides that, if he thinks he’s going to get “serious” players before he gets “casual” players, he really didn’t do his research.

There’s even more to this story, but I think it can be wrapped up perfectly with this :
Pegasus_tantrum

Oh well. With a name like “Pegasus” I guess I should just be glad it’s not another Brony project.


This project was kindly brought to my attention by reader Jeremy G.


UPDATE!
Commenter RatherOddRager points out that this guy is trying again! This time with two separate projects for each of this games.

Has he learned anything? Let’s see …

Has he researched the board-Game industry yet?

  • Nope! He’s still charging $100 for a board game!
  • Nope! He still thinks people want finely crafted “luxury” models of games they’ve never played.
  • Nope! He still thinks there’s big money in an “elite group of two player abstract strategy games”.

Has he built a prototype yet?

I'm going to spend my weekend trying to build a playable prototype. I'll post the images as soon as I am done. You can expect to see images of my product by Wednesday. While you are waiting, please have a look at the image below as it details the dimension specifications of my game unit.
Today is Thursday. No pics.

Has he berated and insulted his backers again?

Pegasus_one
Of course not! You’ve got to be nice to your mother.

Lil’ bit stupider

lilbit_01
lilbit_02

Ok. Painted (or sparkly) wine glasses and thermos bottles, cheaper than Etsy, and faster than I could do myself. Sounds reasonable.

Let’s take a look at the only reward level offered by this project :
lilbit_reward

Huh. Wait a moment. I need to work this out on my calculator.

Screen Shot 2014-06-24 at 11.30.48 PM

Hmm… I feel like this is going to make it difficult to reach the $5,000 goal.

I wonder if there are other … “number problems”.

This lady clearly has some issues with basic math. Better double-check her other number-related claims.

Is this truly cheaper than what I could get on Etsy?
lilbit_etsy

Is it at least quicker than I could do myself?

lilbit_delivery


Thanks to reader Henry S. for pointing this out to me!