Friday Quickies.

I used to Like Kickstarter

*Sigh*. Ever since Kickstarter stopped screening their projects this is just getting too easy. Kickstarter is now just as bad as IndieGoGo. There’s more dumb projects than real projects!
 Cat Capes!  by Amy  We want to make capes for our 3 cats. We're convinced that they're constantly jumping off of furniture in an attempt to fly.
Really? Maybe this is a joke project, but I have a terrible feeling this person really hopes to get the money.

Either way, isn’t it great that it’s now allowed on Kickstarter?!?

There’s even Free Energy Scams!


These fools and con-artists were once forced to use IndieGoGo. Not any more! Now they can use Kickstarter just like legitimate projects!

Punctuation is important


They really need a comma between “on” and “candy”.

It’s funny, because it’s a joke from a TV Show!

tension sheet
It was funny on Red Dwarf. It’s not funny when you do it.

Kickstarter has stopped enforcing their rules.


This person clearly has no idea how game controllers even work, so how did he make the prototype that kickstarter absolutely requires for all electronic gadgets? Oh, that’s right. He didn’t. And Kickstarter doesn’t care anymore.

We’ve got those already

 by Christopher Phillip Tucker  Trying to create a album full of repeating lyrics with great beats
Those are called “Songs”.

Is this racist?


Is this racist? Not the glow-in-the-dark Tee-Pees, because that’s a real part of our nation’s glow-in-the-dark history. I mean calling them “injian tee-pees”.

Free Energy Scam

Right now the blogosphere is buzzing about a wildly successful Kickstarter campaign that is almost certainly a scam : iFind the world’s first battery-free blue-tooth/GPS locator tag. Why is it a scam? For one thing, the demonstration in their one and only video is definitely fake, but more importantly, the math on their “energy harvesting” theories is so badly wrong that you’d have better luck powering the Space Shuttle on a pair of AAs!
(Edit: Kickstarter has come to their senses and suspended the iFind project.)

But, I don’t want to talk about that. Everybody else is already talking about that. [1][2][3]
[4]

So let’s talk about a different strangely successful scam that involves free energy!

QEG_01

These people are the latest in a long line of people who want to sell you a perpetual motion machine!

We embarked on a mission to create a free energy device that will be distributed directly to the people. We call this device the Quantum Energy Generator, or QEG. I am now here, living on the property where the QEG is being assembled, observing its progress.

She pronounces this, “kweedge”, and uses it in the sentence “I’m kweedging, are you kweedging?”. ( Teenagers : Say this within earshot of your parents to convince them you’re either on drugs or engaging in a really filthy sex act. )

QEG_03
Why do perpetual motion enthusiasts always say this?

The project’s interminable, twelve minute long video (During which the machine is not demonstrated) is narrated by a woman who manages to hit every pseudo-science buzz-word in the book.

“What you need to realize is that the QEG isn’t really all that different from the other seventy-thousand or more attempts at creating a free energy device. At least that’s how many free energy device patents have been confiscated by the U.S. Government under the threat of national security!”

Uh, confiscating a patent would not keep something secret. It would actually allow anyone to legally manufacture the invention.

“So what makes the QEG any different? It’s really so simple it’s kind of silly. The low frequency vibration human behaviors of greed, ego, fear, stupidity, and alterior motives can be blamed for 99% of the free energy failures to date.”

Wow, forget the second law of thermodynamics! It’s greed that stops people from inventing the most profitable machine in the history of all mankind!

Of course. It makes so much sense. I’m glad they’ve managed to eliminate greed from their efforts to bilk suckers out of $20,000.

Oh well. Soon they’ll flip the switch and they’ll have to admit that it doesn’t work, right?

“For the protection and safety of our family and the QEG, we will not be publicly posting the results of flipping the switch.”

Seems legit.

Never-charge batteries and Anti-Gravity

Tired of having to recharge your batteries? [especially the ones you have to remove from the device] CAN'T BATTERIES CHARGE THEMSELVES?

Monday we looked at a project to power an SUV on nothing but air. Today, let’s look at a smaller, more handy form of free energy.

Even while your device is on and active the Never-EverCharge Battery keeps charging! most devices make noises or vibrations using speakers and motors. these vibrations are traveling within the entire device as well as to your ears. they are also absorbed by the piezo film which will help keep your battery charged!
Imagine you were standing next to a burning building that the fire department was spraying a dozen fire-hoses at. Some of the splash-back might get your clothes a little wet, right? If you went over to the pump truck and rung out the water from your left sock, you’d have about as much chance of refilling the tanker truck as this invention has of recharging a battery.

Never plug in your cell phone again! as long as your talking, fumbling, dropping your phone [which everyone does] it will help charge your phone. even the engine vibrations and noise from your car will charge it! just set it on the dash or near the speaker.
There’s no way.

Now, I’m not saying you can’t collect that kind of energy. Obviously, self winding watches are proof that you can. (Along with those rubbish Eternity Flashlights.) But the energy the thing would generate isn’t even in the same league as what a battery needs.

Even the would-be backers were skeptical :
Have you ... done the math on this? i've done more than the math. i have designed the circuit. just need funds to make the prototypes.

I don’t think he has done the math. And his design for the circuit seems suspiciously similar to this energy harvesting kit from Piezo Systems,inc. (Which wouldn’t even come close to charging a phone battery.)

Don’t like that invention? He’s got another.

 goal is to build a device that converts gyroscopic forces into linear motion. this design is based on 25+ years of research.
That’s right. Running at the same time as his other project is this one! Antigravity!

I won’t go into this one, but, suffice it to say, you can’t convert gyroscopic forces into linear motion. It’s impossible.

If these two inventions both worked, he could combine his two inventions and put a man on The Moon for about the cost of a new SUV.

Air powered Car!

 F2 Power Technologies LLC vehicle engine is powered by free air  Campaign is seeking $100,000 to equip a large SUV with the first proof-of-concept F2 Powertrain System. New vehicles can be powered by free air instead of gas.

This project has a goal to equip a large SUV with the F2 Powertrain System. The system will generate electricity using free air, and will provide unlimited range for the gas-converted SUV without the need to recharge externally. This represents a giant leap forward in transportation technology.

Finally! I’m tired of refueling my car with water. I want a car I never have to refuel!

…But isn’t that completely impossible for about a dozen different reasons?

I have been engineering advanced wind turbine designs for a number of years. With just a 15 mph wind, a utility scale wind turbine generates massive amounts of electricity. Such a turbine provides electricity to about 400 homes. The problem with wind turbines is the wind does not always blow. It occurred to me, eventually, that when a vehicle travels down the road, it creates a wind upon itself- always.

The old ‘windmill on a car’ idea.

I once designed a very similar device. I drew the schematic in crayon.

Remember when you were very young, you thought it was impossible to run out of money because every time you bought something you got money back in change? This invention works on the same theory.

As should be completely obvious to anyone who’s graduated grade school, all “Wind energy” of a moving car is ultimately generated by the car’s engine. Any fool can understand that reclaiming a small portion of the engine’s output could never fully power the engine.

Worse than that, attaching all this wind-harvesting equipment will actually increase weight and air-resistance, making the engine work harder, burning even more energy!

f2_05
I liked my crayon schematic better.

This delusional innovator thinks that those funnels up front will “Multiply the energy” somehow. They won’t. Sure, the air in the skinny part of the funnel will be going faster, but there’s less of it. You don’t get something for nothing.

The real mystery here is why this guy thinks that funnels are some magical energy source that everybody else has overlooked! If funnels are so great, why don’t all cars have giant funnels on them? Why don’t wind-farms have giant house-sized funnels in front of them? Why is Tom Olsen the first person on the entire planet to realize the magic of funnels?

I have what the big boys apparently don't have.  A simple mind.

Fair enough.

Fusion Powered Car

Fusion Powered Car - Fusion is the ultimate green energy source. Cold fusion may be real or not, but now is the time to take a lab curiosity out and road test it.

This nutter wants to make a “Cold Fusion” powered car.

I will be a year constructing and modifying a Model A to run on fusion power.
Wait! What? A Model-A?

coldFusion_02

Yup! He’s serious! He’s going to convert a 1928 Ford to electric. Then he’s going to build a nuclear powered charger that’s fueled by heavy water. Finally! A water powered car!

 I hope to “trickle charge” some batteries enough to run the car after very long charging times. I am hoping for about 5 Watts of net electrical energy. I am close.
Fun fact : 5 watts is exactly how much power an iPhone charger produces.

this is part 2 since "they" terminateded it early.

Oh oh! “They” are onto you! You’re doomed! “They” always suppress the water powered cars!